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Goner Message Board / ???? / fantasy tour de france
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 9:05 pm
i've never considerd playing fantasy anything, but this seems cool. anyone? anyone?
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 9:13 pm
oh for the love of pete...
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 9:14 pm
ok ok, i'll play fantasy record collector. anyone? anyone?
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 9:15 pm
Smithsonian Institute by a nose, over Library of Congress.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:16 pm
come on! it starts this saturday!
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:16 pm
arman, are you wearing a prom dress right now, cause you should be.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:17 pm
I'll put money on the dude with one testicle.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:18 pm
lance is done and u.s. postal isn't even in it this year.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:19 pm
damn, bustier keeps sliding down my chest.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:19 pm
Any other riders only have one testicle?
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:19 pm
i hear the french have none.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:26 pm
the only thing that could make this gayer would be if they were playing soccer while riding up and down them pretty hills.

(i love you arman)
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:28 pm
I think you should wear your (gay) bike shorts the entire race, even in the shower.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 10:44 pm
i agree with Sarah. pick out your luckiest pair and never take them off. you need to support your favorite French, hairless, nutless, bicycle bitch.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 11:50 pm
Everyone is saying Jan Ulrich or Ivan Basso (goddamn is his wife smoking hot), but I say it's gonna be some new guy no one expected. I'd like to see Hincapie take a stage or 2.

Posted: Jun 26, 2006 11:50 pm
I'm up for it. Even bought some new pedals last week. Wahey!
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 12:14 am
C'Mon arman, where do we sign up?

I think the fantasy tour group should be called "Goner 2 Wheeled Faggots".

I'm about to buy an Xtracycle, doods!

Posted: Jun 27, 2006 12:19 am
It looks on the website that you can use one of those for carrying surfboards, small dogs, or brides. Which is it?
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 12:25 am
kegs of beer, fat chicks, and groceries.

Posted: Jun 27, 2006 12:29 am
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 2:55 am
I'll take Basso.

ride this girl up and down Western!
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 8:58 pm
i'm thinking jan ulrich. dude is fat, out of shape and parties like a motherfucker but a total bad ass. plus he's just coming off winning the tour of switzerland - of which the final leg was in totally shitty weather. either he'll have a shit ton of momentum or he'll be burnt.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 9:01 pm
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 9:03 pm
I'm thinking Ben Roethlisberger....I'm guessing the Steelers won't let him have anything with a motor, and he's in shape aside from the smashed skull and face....plus that winning attitude!!!!
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 9:25 pm
Let's put a group together. No money as I'm skint and lost within the opening moments of the Goner NCAA pool last year. Winner gets an inner tube from each loser?
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 9:36 pm
need to get it together by saturday. anyone know what bars in chicago will be airing it? so far the map room is all i know.
Posted: Jun 27, 2006 10:39 pm
link won't load for me, but i'm down for a group. i'd be game for water bottle from your local bike shop, but shipping might be a bitch.

Posted: Jun 28, 2006 1:49 pm
Posted: Jun 29, 2006 11:56 am
fuck the tour de france ( even though i am doing the fantasy tour - got info if need be ) there used to be a race called the ididabike - followed the ididarod trail... non stop shit ... race all day and night - well not really a night up there
there was a dude that raced called john stamsted ( sp)
he would win every year by a landslide - refused sponsorship refused interviews had a beard and wore grungy clothes ( think it was early 90s so the flannel was hot still ) and his fuel was beer and twinkies ... that smy kind of race!!!!!!

theres no polaks racing this year and after my world cup disappointment i am at a loss...
Posted: Jun 29, 2006 11:56 am
handlebar and cals will be airing it as well as my house
Posted: Jun 29, 2006 12:09 pm
okay obviuosly since the 90s the guy has caved into the $$$
ultra enduro hahahahahahahahahah
i thought the "ultra" fad was out
isnt it "lite" now not to be confused with the "light" fad

oh geesh
Posted: Jun 29, 2006 9:20 pm
theres no polaks racing this year

hard to win a bike race when you have square wheels.
Posted: Jun 30, 2006 4:59 pm
Looks like the favourites, including Basso and Ulrich have just been sent home due to doping!

Posted: Jun 30, 2006 8:06 pm
Posted: Jun 30, 2006 8:13 pm
refused sponsorship refused interviews had a beard and wore grungy clothes

That was from Forrest Gump.
Posted: Jun 30, 2006 8:29 pm
holy crap, that is crazy.

i now hope Millar takes it, just cause it will be a warm fuzzy story.

i say Hincapie takes 2 stages, maybe 3. would be rad if he took it, but thats just the dumb hopeful american in me.

Posted: Jul 1, 2006 1:04 pm
Anyone know if there's an equivalent to TVAnts, or whatever it is, for watching the Tour online?
Posted: Jul 1, 2006 4:25 pm
Prologue won by Thor Hushovd.
Posted: Jul 1, 2006 4:36 pm
ride forrest ride
Posted: Jul 1, 2006 4:37 pm
don't they do these insane blood transfusions that up their red blood cell count to oxygenate their muscles GROSS

they had to do dna testing
what ever happened to cocaine ... isnt that good enough
or power bars
Posted: Jul 1, 2006 6:01 pm
They take blood out, then put it back in once the body has built up all the oxygen levels again naturally; it makes a big difference to performance, apparently.
Posted: Jul 1, 2006 6:37 pm
there's also the thing about how viagra helps performance, especially at high altitudes.

i can't imagine riding one of those race bikes for mile upon mile with an enormous raging hard-on would be any easier.

Posted: Jul 5, 2006 12:13 pm
Today Tom Boonen will ride his bicycle in the "maillot jaune" through his Belgian homecountry. I guess this should make me proud.
Posted: Jul 5, 2006 1:08 pm
'A lot of the riders were noticeably nervous before the stage start after Tuesday's crashes. Alejandro Valverde, known in Spain as "Bala Verde" (the green bullet), suffered in his fall, but Erik Dekker was far worse off.

His team spokesman explained: "Some of the guys thought he was dead. The tar from the road was all over his face." For the record, Dekker broke several teeth, ripped open his top lip and suffered deep and bloody cuts on his face as well as concussion.'

Posted: Jul 5, 2006 1:49 pm
There have been crashes every day, so far. It seems a lot of them are high from the exceptional heat. The sight of Dekker and Hushovd (who lost the yellow bullet this way) was painful.

And today has some some fine Ardenne cobblestone alleys waiting...
Posted: Jul 5, 2006 6:56 pm
3 broken collar bones yesterday i hear.
Posted: Jul 5, 2006 6:58 pm
Robbie Mc Ewen, once again. Damn Aussies.
Posted: Jul 6, 2006 2:24 am
Speaking of injuries, did anyone read "Lance's War"? The author makes a good point about the prevalence injuries, like broken collar bones. I didn't realized the extent of the danger in pro cycling. In the book, I believe the author says that during racing season, there are about 5 serious injuries per week among the approximately 400 pro cyclist. If the season is, let's say, 8 months (I'm guessing), that's 8 x 4 x 5 = 160 total injuries or 40% of the field, each season.
Posted: Jul 6, 2006 10:10 am
Tyler Hamilton actually won a Tour stage 3 years ago with a broken collarbone-

Posted: Jul 6, 2006 2:17 pm
But Tyler had a little help from... his vanishing twin.

No, seriously that was what he said when he tested positive for "the presence of someone else's red blood cells in 2004's Liège-Bastogne-Liège.
"Somewhere around 8 percent of pregnancies start out as multiples, but in many cases, one or more fetuses will be reabsorbed by the mother and the other fetus or fetuses. Hamilton witness David Housman, an MIT professor, pointed out that "cells can pass from one twin to another during the time that they shared a womb together," and that the vanishing twin might be the source for the other genetic signature found in Hamilton's blood".

Posted: Jul 6, 2006 2:18 pm
Funny there was another one in his team, who also had a vanishing twin, so it seems...
Posted: Jul 6, 2006 2:32 pm | Edited by: guy
Yup, he's no longer in the public eye- funny that. Still, I can't imagine that someone else's blood made riding 200km with a broken collarbone a barrel of monkeys. Although it's probably better than a large part of your head falling off-

Posted: Jul 6, 2006 3:20 pm
No, don't get me wrong, respect Tyler!! But they're all tough guys. Look at that viking Hushovd. Falls, his arm is ripped open, finishes and is taken to hospital to get 5 stitches. Sad he lost his maillot jaune this way, but that 's the tour de france... The day after Hushovd was sprinting with the other guys. Tough.
Posted: Jul 6, 2006 3:22 pm
There's free livestreaming here : click "tour 2006 live"

http://www.vrtnieuws.net/nieuwsnet_master/versie2/algemeen/nnII_startp agina/index.shtml

40 kilometres to go!!!
Posted: Jul 6, 2006 3:23 pm
you would have to be more than half a fag to be into bike racing. (special exemption for the europeans since they don't have any real sports).
Posted: Jul 6, 2006 4:11 pm
Thanks for that Steven! Couldn't find any streaming at all on UK tv sites, ESPN, or the Tour site itself. Does the Tour come anywhere near you? Next year I think the prologue is in London, which should be cool.
Posted: Jul 6, 2006 8:55 pm
you would have to be more than half a fag to be into bike racing.

jump right in, mary, you're way more than half a fag. i'll even loan you my speedo's.
Posted: Jul 6, 2006 8:59 pm
Look here why the Tour is so appealing to American and European (half a) fags alike : http://www.lazerhelmets.com/site/uploadedImages/Add_Newsitem/20051426- 54651.jpg

Next year Guy : there will be a finish in Ghent!!
Posted: Jul 14, 2006 9:08 am
First Amish in the yellow bucket ever : Floyd Landis!! Had to ride his bicycle at night because like music and dancing his parents thought of it as a satanistic act.

Tough Amish : needs hipsurgery but before that will win his first tour de france. Amen!!
Posted: Jul 14, 2006 3:18 pm
There are still 2 UK riders in the mix. One who got caught doping, the other who's done little long road competition stuff before. Me girl has been recording Tour stuff off satellite for me, so tonight I'll finally get to see some more. Whoop!
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 3:31 pm
Landis gives positive drugs test

Landis finished ahead of Oscar Pereiro to win the Tour de France
Tour de France winner Floyd Landis has given a positive drugs test, according to his Phonak team.
The American, who claimed victory in the Tour de France on Sunday, has tested positive for the male sex hormone testosterone.

The positive test came after stage 17 of the Tour, which saw Landis record an epic victory after collapsing on the final climb the day before.

Landis has pulled out of two races in Europe this week.

The International Cycling Union (UCI) announced on Wednesday that a rider had failed a doping test but would not reveal his name.

"The Phonak Cycling Team was notified yesterday by the UCI of an unusual level of testosterone/epitestosterone ratio in the test made on Floyd Landis after stage 17 of the Tour de France," said a team statement.

Posted: Jul 27, 2006 3:40 pm
Oops! The Yank reign on the TdF could be broken? On a related note, Tyler Hamilton never claimed he had the identical twin, as you suggested above; take a look halfway down here-

Posted: Jul 27, 2006 3:46 pm
Also, the World Anti-Doping Agency chief is called Dick Pound.
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 4:00 pm
Thanks for the link Guy. I'd love to see a Tyler Hamilton "come-back". I didn't invent the identical twin story though.
Hamilton's vanished identical twin, Dick Pound, Amish Landis and soon-to-be-forgotten "winner" Fereiro would make for a great novel. No winners, only losers. Guess that's the tour de France 2006.
Posted: Jul 27, 2006 5:38 pm

You know his Mennonite parents are very peeved.
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