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Goner Message Board / ???? / The Horrors - the worst fucking garage band I have ever seen ...
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 5:25 pm
Forgive me for venting, but current NME/UK media darling The Horrors are positively THE WORST fucking 'garage' band I've ever seen - I mean, they're just hopeless, and not inna thrilling way like The Memphis Goons ... They are nice guys, although they're deffo upper middle class public school boys who talk like extras from Brideshead Revisited, and have good taste in music, but when me & Joe DJed at a gig they played with The Soledad Brothers the other month, we were both appalled by their total lack of dynamics/tunes - they sound like the first rehearsal of yer first school band ... I love stuff with an absolute lack of quality, which I beleive to be a stamp of total quality! But The Horrors are just arse ...

Predictably, the NME and all the other UK music wanker press are going nuts over them, fawning about their diabolical cover of Jack The Ripper, and they've been signed-up by this former NME cunt - the one who 'suggested' that I might like to change my first review for that shitty rag to a bad one, despite him previously being the band in question's biggest fan! Needless to say, I told him to fuck off - but he's now parlayed his so-called 'discovery' of lots of shitty bands into a job as head of A&R (arseholes and reaming, I think it stands for) at the UK arm of A&M records - this twat even had the gall to call his record label Loog, cos he shares the same second name as the onetime Stones manager!

Phew, knackered now ... Anyway, check out these useless bastids and lemme know your views on the media darlings themselves ...

Posted: Jun 22, 2006 5:28 pm
I thought they were great live when they were new. I haven't seen them since before their 2nd LP came out, the blues hammer one. Was it the performance, the music, or both? They dudes can play their asses off, so I'm guessing it's just the music you're complaining about? I have no problem believing that part.
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 5:30 pm
It's a different (looks like UK) Horrors - the ones from Iowa broke up.
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 5:31 pm
Trickknee's right - see, they can't even pick an original name, the twats ...
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 5:33 pm
Oh, well... fuck those dicks!
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 5:43 pm
I'm glad I've not heard of The Horrors cos The Horrors are great!
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 6:39 pm
the worst ??? have you ever heard any of fat brad's shit???
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 6:46 pm
i'm pretty sure i like the horrors better than the horrors.
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 6:47 pm
i like that it's a hard word to say and it sounds like whores.
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 6:51 pm
yes! diggler is posting again. what was the problem, anyway?
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 7:43 pm
The U.K. Horrors aren't very good judging from their songs on Myspace so they'll wind up being a huge success. Such are things in this world...
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 8:06 pm
i don't know womb raider but it's working again. brad sucks. the romantics rule!!!
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 8:06 pm
i like that it's a hard word to say and it sounds like whores.
To avoid this, you've just gotta say it like Brando said it in the end of "Apocalypse Now." It's more like "hahrra" than "whore" that way.

As a former Iowan, I loved the Horrors, though I never saw them live. Other than Los Marauders, they were the only decent band to come out of Iowa since the Gonn.
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 8:08 pm

hey it works!
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 8:14 pm
no iowa band could ever be better than the gonn.
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 8:34 pm
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 8:46 pm
"first it was the house of whores then it became the house of horrors.." C.C. Deville
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 9:08 pm
They're wearing eyeliner for that "sympathetic look."
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 9:14 pm
I wanna blow my salty load in their doe eyes
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 9:47 pm
I saw them a few months ago and none of their songs stuck with me at all. They have the all-important image down, and that's what seems to count in this town.
Posted: Jun 22, 2006 9:55 pm
They're wearing eyeliner for that "sympathetic look."

They're 12. Mebbe 11.
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 2:11 am
This band sucks.

The 'In The Red' Horrors are great!
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 4:36 am
they do have that slightly glamrick stain that Lowery digs pawing over.
hmmmm, toasty
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 10:36 am
Like I said, they're all hairspray and trousers - but bound to be considered 'the next big thing' ... Personally, I'm really, really fucking bored of seeing the British music press pull the same 'emperor's new clothes' trick, over and over again, for like 25 years - I'd be much more impressed if the press found a good band, and actually promoted them, causing people to change their overall perception of the whys and wherefores of how come people really be digging rock'n'roll ...

Until then, it's back to listening to Memphis stuff!

Me and Joe be DJing for Nick Ray, Harlan and Jeremy at The Macbeth in Hoxton St on Sunday night, come on down!
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 12:07 pm
come on down
kinda wish i could but
"it seems in London Town
there's just no place
for a street fighting man."
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 12:43 pm | Edited by: Poot
these guys are bound to be bigger than birdland and jonathan fire*eater combined.

they're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky...
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 12:50 pm
And utterly shite ...
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 1:03 pm
i'll wipe to that!
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 3:12 pm
why did you call them a garage band in the subject anyway?
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 3:27 pm
Cos that's what people in the whore-felching media are calling 'em - to be fair, some people whose opinion I trust (PJ from the Dirty Water Club and Delia from The A-Lines, in particular) think they're great, but they are entitled to their own opinion, after all ...
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 3:28 pm
why did you call them a garage band in the subject anyway?

Weird. I just clicked on this to post the exact same question at almost the exact same time. RADAR LOVE!!!!
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 3:35 pm
I love you, man.
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 5:47 pm
Ahhh, don't listen to PJ's reccomendations, he's a promoter! Its his job to lie about bands!
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 5:51 pm
never trust anybody with intitials for a first name.
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 5:52 pm
N.e.d. Hayden.
Posted: Jun 23, 2006 7:04 pm
I wouldn't piss on the English if they were on fire.
Posted: Jun 24, 2006 1:38 am
What the fuck is up with all these shitty upstart and phony balogna "garage" (code now for Strokes/White stripesesque) bands stealing names of other, much better bands and getting away with it?!!!
Right now there is a "Sonics", a "Wailers", "The Horrors", and so many more. Someone get the damned lawsuits dished out and stop these little fags before they effectively erase any more coolness and cause me consternation in having to keep making distinctions during party conversation!
Posted: Jun 24, 2006 2:00 am
having to keep making distinctions during party conversation!

Liie there's anybody there worth talking to. Get out and come here!
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 5:54 am
The IA Horrors were all right by me. I saw them @ the Beachland Ballroom in probably late 1999 or early 2000, then again @ Vegas Shakedown in 2000. They tore it up, even if the drummer's kit kept falling apart.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 5:04 pm
I thought I was going to see that British Horrors at the Primitive festival last friday, but they cancelled. Seems like the only decent thing to do if the band is really that lame.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 5:06 pm
Why wouold those dudes play the Primitive Festival? Somebody booked them for a garage weekender?
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 5:27 pm
That's what most people were wondering. I can't really judge because I've never actually heard the band, but they also booked the Last Vegas for warming-up on the friday afternoon and their only garage connection is that they're on Get Hip records.
Posted: Jun 26, 2006 5:34 pm
But don't worry, it was a fabulous weekend, with Alberto at the decks as my personal high spot.
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 8:03 pm
they look like The Strange Boys with teased hair

wonder if larry hardy is gonna take action?
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 4:27 am
no he likes them... HAHA
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 4:36 am
The one with his eyes closed looks like a young, gothic Axl...
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 5:57 am
Sandy..start digging jazz, skiffle and blues
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 6:02 am
no he likes them... HAHA

just like he loves the REETARDS
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 3:56 pm
reatards ... dum dum
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 4:02 pm
Yo, Iowa Horrors, learn from Supernova and sue these bastards..
Posted: Aug 17, 2006 4:50 pm
Yo, Iowa Horrors, learn from Supernova and sue these bastards..

fingers crossed
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