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Goner Message Board / ???? / Stoopid jokes you just made up right now
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 7:40 pm
 
Who is the world's greatest purveyor of anal sex?

The Sultan of Brown-Eye
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 7:51 pm
 
Two paper clips were sitting in the office having a disagreement and one paper clip says to the other paper clip "man, we're just not on the same page."
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 8:07 pm
 
One old guys says to another old guy: "Damn you're old."

"I know."
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 8:10 pm
 
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......

A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 8:13 pm
 
You have a real cool brain, golightly.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 8:18 pm
 
In a bar full of dildos, a butt plug walks in and orders a beer. The butt plug says to one of the dildos, "I haven't gotten a peice of ass in months"."Sucks for you, I've been gettin alot of ass lately", said the dildo. The butt plug says, "what is this a fag bar?"
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 9:40 pm
 
A guy is at the office talking to his co-worker about how much he loves drinking coke and a chinese guy walks by laughing his ass off.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 9:43 pm
 
What do you call it when a duck's testicles drop?
Fowl balls.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 9:46 pm
 
A guy is at the office talking to his co-worker about how much he loves drinking coke and a chinese guy walks by laughing his ass off.

took me a minute, but HA!
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 9:46 pm
 
Have you heard about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 9:50 pm
 
took me a minute, but HA!

I just noticed this ties in nicely with your "chinaman" riff threat. Synergy.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 10:09 pm
 
Have you heard about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

you suck.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 10:18 pm
 
My grandma and your grandma are sitting by the fire. My grandma says to your grandma, "do you have a lighter?"
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 10:21 pm
 
I went to a bar and ordered a Bacardi and Coke. The bartender asked, "What goes in that?"
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 10:25 pm
 
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 11:15 pm
 
What's the difference between Charles Bronson and Michael Jackson?

Charles Bronson likes guns, and Michael Jackson likes to have sex with little boys.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 11:18 pm
 
An African American fellow walks up to my bar and asks for a Hennessy sour. I said "Whaddya call that, an Uncle Tom Collins?" True story.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 11:25 pm
 
How do blind people tell if they're done wiping?
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 11:38 pm
 
Charles Bronson likes guns, and Michael Jackson likes to have sex with little boys.

The stoopidest so far! Fine job, Arm.
Posted: Jun 16, 2006 11:45 pm
 
I'm trying here...Thanks.

How about?

What do you get if you beat the chicken across the street?

Cockadoodle-doo!
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 12:11 am
 
How do blind people tell if they're done wiping?

Their seeing eye dog stops eating the toilet paper??
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 8:04 am
 
theres four dogs walking along when one of them passes out from exhaustion. the leader dog says 'throw him on spikes back, hes big enough' so they do, and continue. theyre walking when all of a sudden they walk up on a snake, it bites bojangles before the leader dog scares it off. leader dog is all 'well you got one already spike one more wont hurt'. so they place bo-j on spikes back then continue on, when all of the sudden they come upon a cliff and leader dog falls off. he calls up to spike 'hey throw me a rope'. spike says 'i dont have a rope'.
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 5:36 pm
 
old people and slinkies have alot in common.

they're both useless,but when you push them down the stairs they make you smile.
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 8:22 pm
 
What did the crow say when it had to take a shit? KAH!!! KAH!!!
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 9:55 pm
 
What is 12 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? S.I.D.S.(aka crib death)
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 9:58 pm
 
Two pedophiles are sitting on a park bench looking over the kiddies with appraising stares. . They watch a young 13 year old nubile walk by. One pedo turns to the other and says " Man..............I bet she was a hottie back in her day".
Posted: Jun 17, 2006 10:00 pm
 
Hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 12:22 am
 
this woman is giving birth in the hospital.
the doctor takes the baby and throws it up against the wall.
then he throws it down on the floor.
the lady freaks out starts yelling "what are you doing to my baby?!"
the doctor replies "relax. i'm just fucking with you. its already dead"
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 12:26 am
 
whats black and white and red all over?

a hipster covered in his own blood
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 4:30 pm
 
i like coca cola in the can.......i also like it in the living room
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 4:44 pm
 
What do gay pedophiles abduct skaters in?

Vans...
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 4:51 pm
 
ronaldo hat die nationalmannschaft umbenannt - wie heißt sie nun?

fettesao.
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 7:08 pm
 
Q: Why doesn't Multiple Miggs like bananas?

A: Because all he can smell is Clarice Starling's cunt.

Hey, at least it's original. I've heard some of these jokes before.
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 8:56 pm
 
busted.
Posted: Jun 18, 2006 9:57 pm
 
Medical condition that results from Af-Am's narcolepsy following cosumption of 20 hot wings? Nigger mortis
Posted: Jun 19, 2006 1:26 am
 
What's the difference between a pair of balls and a pair of breasts?

Fuck you gaywad!

LOL
Posted: Jun 19, 2006 1:28 am
 
Why did the 40 year old single man buy a family size container of lotion?

b/c being gay makes your skin dry.
Posted: Jun 19, 2006 4:10 am
 
What do you call the sore on my testicles?
Posted: Jun 20, 2006 12:15 am
 
two condoms are walking past a gay bar...one says to the other "let's go in and get shitfaced~!"
Posted: Jun 20, 2006 5:18 am
 
The only joke i ever made up....

Q:"What do you call Tiger Woods' conception?"

A: A Black-Thai affair.
Posted: Jun 20, 2006 6:23 am
 
Yesterday, I had a booger so big I need a knife & fork to eat it.
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