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Goner Message Board / ???? / What annoys you about your body?
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 2:29 pm
too much hair on my legs. it's like i'm wearing a fur coat. so i don't ever wear shorts. i don't like shorts anyway though. people in shorts look stupid. wearing tight pants feels terrible because the hair on my legs gets all itchy from the tight jeans pressing it against my skin. unbearable.

i wish i had nice white teeth but from drinking tons of cola and coffee ever since i can remember probably killed the color. what the fuck you gonna do though. i'm not stopping that's for sure.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 3:19 pm
colgate white strips work pretty well.

for your teeth, that is. i haven't tried them on my legs, har-har.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 3:40 pm
Lower back pain...shit is never ending.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 3:48 pm
Lower back pain...shit is never ending.

You and me both.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 4:07 pm
I'm thinking about getting one of those goddamn cortizone shots, man.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 4:13 pm
When I was in school there was this kid with the last name Bruggeman who had a stupid haircut - shaved to about 1/4" on the whole thing except for this big, stupid curl in the front - that I didn't get along with. I used to run up to him and go, "Boogie, boogie, boogie......" and pat his big, dumb curl before we would start flailing at each other. Now I'm getting that thinning hair where it leaves the big dumb curl in the front - you know, thinning in the middle of your head leaving the "tuft" in front. No one in my family has this thinning pattern so I'm guessing it's payback from either Boogie-man performing years of voodoo or just plain poetic justice. Either way, I have a few more years before it's razor-head time but it's annoying as hell.

Moral of the story is this: instead of making fun of and then beating the shit out of a Bruggeman, just kill the bastard so he can't chant incantations to whatever spirit owns your head.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 4:23 pm
Oh yeah, forgot to mention this - Boogie moved in across the street from me a year or so ago with his fucking full-head of hair. I think he just wants front row seats for my balding. I've started wearing hats when I mow the yard.

No fisticuffs yet, either.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 4:26 pm
I have this little red mole on my upper forehead. That in itself wouldn't eat at me but everytime I see this one friend of mine he asks, "Hey, what is this button for?" and drills his index finger right into my head. I've grown to hate it, sincerely.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 4:48 pm
My forehead's so big I should rent it out for advertising space.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 6:11 pm
my knees are fucked up beyond all recognition, to the point of where if i go to a 3 day music fest of any sort - ie goner fest, ponderosa stomp, etc - i have sore knees from standing up so much. of course, it don't help that i wear heels most of the time either.

they're pretty mangled from me rollerskating when i was younger plus running/crashing hurdles in high school track. i have places on them that are completely numb all the time so if i fall, it doesn't hurt on the surface at all.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 6:27 pm
my knees are fucked up beyond all recognition, to the point of where if i go to a 3 day music fest of any sort - ie goner fest, ponderosa stomp, etc - i have sore knees from standing up so much. of course, it don't help that i wear heels most of the time either.

they're pretty mangled from me rollerskating when i was younger plus running/crashing hurdles in high school track. i have places on them that are completely numb all the time so if i fall, it doesn't hurt on the surface at all.

Same here. I was at the Ponderosa Stomp as well and that was the true test of concert-going endurance. The cheap beer seemed to help.

Replace the rollerskates with a skateboard and nix the track and hurdles and you're the (I'm assuming) female version of me. I do love heels though.

Oh yeah...Also NO CHIN! And I grow beards to hide that fact and then get sick of them, shave 'it and then get self-concious...
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 7:04 pm | Edited by: Mr E Action
I've had lower back pain for 10 years since I was 14. Don't know why. It comes and goes in a weird way. I might feel fine for days and then it just flares up. Any of you go to chiropractors, does that shit work? Acupuncture?

Also not only do I have a large forehead, my hair is rapidly thinning too in front. So when I get a haircut, it's super noticeable.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 7:26 pm
I'm thinking about getting one of those goddamn cortizone shots, man.

That's just a moment of relief, not a real fix. I'm thinking of getting into yoga or something. Standing up at these fests kills my back.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 7:39 pm
My body always hurts somewhere. I know I haven't been kind to it, but from the age of nine till fairly recently I'd been trying really hard to kill myself. I've got high blood pressure from what the doctors tell me is a unspecific auto-immune disorder. The way it was put to me is "your body thinks you're a disease, and it's trying to destroy it." I've suffered from all sorts of stress induced headaches and stomache problems from a very young age. I haven't had a decent shit in years. My circulation is all fucked up cause I spent two years shooting every fuckin' drug put in front of me into my arms and legs from methamphetamine to heroin to pills to LSD to research chemicals to cocaine to ketamine and even shot fuckin' crack a few times. I used to be a compulsive sex addict, now I'm afraid to fuck women cause I'm afraid I won't be able to get a hardon - not that I've ever had the problem before when it was time to perform except when completey fuckin' drunk but I used to walk around all day long with a hard dick, and now half the time I jerk off to porn with it only half stiff. I'm a mess of scars. I can't even play an instrument without bleeding all over the place. I feel old and I'm only twenty six.

I never thought of it like this before, but now that you ask, I kinda wish I had a new body. This one is totally wrecked.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 8:27 pm
I too, have back pain from hell. Too many car accidents and bass guitars are too heavy for my frame, apparently. Also, too many "accidents" of other forms, like taking tumbles down stairs. My "strap" shoulder is permanently numb, from a combination of the above. It tingles constantly. I also have scar tissue buildup from all the injuries that hurts to touch. Fucking sucks. And deep tissue massage is TORTURE.

Any of you go to chiropractors, does that shit work?

It works, but seems to be temporary from my experience. I don't have the patience for the amount of sessions you're supposed to go to for a real result, but it's pretty intensive. They tell me it will take at least a year of fairly much constant "therapy" before I will notice an improvement. And, for my injuries, it can be pretty painful. They put me on this bed that stretches my spine and then manipulate the discs in my lower back - this brings tears to my eyes, and I have a pretty high tolerance for pain.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 8:45 pm
It works, but seems to be temporary from my experience.

It was bullshit, from my experience. You feel good for the 30 mins or so after they crack your back, but then the pain comes back in. They gave me these rubber bands and a list of certain exercises to do, which is suppoused to improve your back in the long run, but I didn't have the tolerance.

The only good thing I've heard of so far for back pain is this Cortizone shot, which is suppoused to numb it for long periods of time (6 months? Dunno). I'm thinking about looking into that...
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 8:51 pm
The fact that I've collapsed twice in the past day, and feel super fucking dizzy (so much so that I had to bail on Goodnight Loving's set last night to b-a-r-f! Isn't booze/hunger related either. BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 8:54 pm
It was bullshit, from my experience.

Yeah, I think getting into something like yoga on a regular basis, and doing it correctly with an instructor, would probably be a good way to go. I also don't have patience for that.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 8:55 pm
carpal tunnel on the right side, tennis elbow on the right side
rotator cuff agita on the left side
two bad knees
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 9:07 pm
Back pain for me also, gotta be the worst, just seems never ending, but not as bad as it was. I went to two different physio's and it kinda helped, feels great just after but the pain is still there. A lot of it is to do with bad posture, stretching exercises help but you get bored of those after a while. Best thing that worked for me was acupuncture, had about eight sessions of that and most of the pain disappeared and has not come back.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 9:23 pm
My feet stink. Really bad.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 9:27 pm
Had hernia surgery four years ago on the left side and right now the right side occasionally feels like it might explode out of my abdomen if I tweak it wrong. Carrying guitar 70 lb guitar amps and cabinets isn't helping but everytime I lift it's with my fingers mentally crossed. Also losing my beautiful blonde hair and gaining this bit of a gut are in their own ways more painful than the physical discomfort of the hernia. Vanity's a bitch.

Posted: Jun 11, 2006 9:35 pm
Damn skateboards they're fuckin' evil. I've got lower back pain too- Sciatica. Herniated discs. Crushed vertabrae. I really don't know. I need an MRI to see exactly what the injury is but can't afford it. Ain't got insurance to pay for the big $$$$ that it costs. I was getting electro-acupuncture for awhile and it was making me feel 70% better. Swimming, hiking and exercise help out too.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 11:28 pm
bad knees -- from childhood roller skating and ballet
bad hands -- I used to think my hand pain is from spending all my time either on the computer or playing an instrument, but lately I've realized that it might be the family arthritis, which sucks, because there isn't really anything you can do about it except deal with having your hands hurt all the time. It's not carpal tunnel, as far as I can tell, because the pain is in the wrong places.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 11:46 pm
I hate the way my face looks. People have been saying for years that it's puppy fat but I'm way too old for that now. I'm gonna go and wax one off to the dirty girls.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 11:54 pm
it always has to poop.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 11:54 pm
but is never able.
Posted: Jun 11, 2006 11:58 pm
I feel for all back pain sufferers. It's no way to live. I recently realized how debilitating knee problems can be after jumping off the back of a pickup truck and twisting it just right. No fun.

I ruptured one lower disc. A chunk tore partially off and was hanging out and I was lucky it didn't press any closer to the nerve. A couple of other discs are degenerated and all affected vertibrae are growing little spurs trying to fuse up. I have had two cortizone shots which were temporarily helpful, but the best thing to ever happen for me was this new surgery using only needles, "percutaneous discectomy". They basically dissolve some inner disc material and suck it out of you, making a vaccum within the disc itself that pulls the bulges back inward and away from the spinal nerve. I feel almost 100% about 85% of the time. Never will be 100% again, though. I need to make stretching my hamstrings a regular routine part of the day, but I don't.

oh yeah, the best news is that drinking and especially smoking are pretty bad for your discs...who woulda' guessed it?
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 12:39 am
I don't have full control over my diaphragm which basically means I stutter. I started to stutter when I was eight years old and by the time I was 22 I couldn't say a single word without stuttering, despite going to therapy every wednesday for three hours.
Then, in 1996, I heard about the Del Ferro Institute. Leonard Del Ferro was an American opera singer who noticed that stuttering people don't stutter when singing. He found out speaking fluently was just a matter of controlling your diaphragm, so he founded the Del Ferro Institute in Amsterdam (1978). I took this 10-day course which made it neccessary to stay in Amsterdam the whole time, awesome!!! His daughter Ingrid led this course, because the man himself died and she took care of my problem completely. However, the training to keep control of my diapragm is so heavy plus the thought that I already controlled my problem made me kind of loose control again. At the moment I'm 90% stutter-free. It depends on the state and situation I'm in. Phoning and speaking English is still pretty hard, so is talking for bigger audiences.
Telling a joke, I always start to stutter at the punch-line, often making it more hilarious than the joke itself. I work on submarines so I have a fire drill each month. When I'm the one who discovers the fire I have to yell "BRAND, BRAND, BRAND!!!" (FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!!!), but I just can't get those words out of my mouth. I think I have a couple of hundred funny stories like this. Also when I'm drunk I don't stutter anymore, probably because I'm not aware of the fact I'm a stutterer.
It's still both a weird and amazing experience not being able to say a single word. You should see me ordering a BigMac menu...

Posted: Jun 12, 2006 2:28 am
Oh shit. Where do I begin? A receding hairline on top of a huge forehead, acne scars, dog bite scares, drunken mishap scars, ruddy complexion, spare tire, poor vision, ear hair, love handles, etc, etc...

My teeth are pretty good though...
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 2:39 am
considering the abuse that's unleashed upon it, my body is pretty fucking awesome. no complaints here.
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 2:45 am
oh here's a complaint: I can't get this fucking curry powder off my fingers and everytime I rub my eyes that shit burns!!
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 2:46 am
a man who goes by the moniker "Guy Caballero" should have a fantabulous bod.
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 2:48 am
Rub your fingers on your photogenic balls. Thee mineral perifins should solve your problems...
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 2:56 am
I don't have full control over my diaphragm which basically means I stutter.

If you only do it in Dutch I'd never notice.

My teeth are all jacked up and I got a spare tire. Other than that I'm like Prince Fucking Charming.

Posted: Jun 12, 2006 5:17 am
"your body thinks you're a disease, and it's trying to destroy it."

I thought that looked funny. I guess that's what you get for trying to talk hungover. What they actually said was "your body think's you're a disease and is trying to cure itself" which seemed alot more brutal for some reason.
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 5:19 am
scars all over the damn place
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 6:01 am
fuck that shit, I have a hunchback.
I shit you not.
Standing upright I look pretty normal - till i bend at the waist. It's a good party trick.
Nigger Rich knows. Jeannie too. I get a lot of sympathy backrubs though, which is nice.
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 7:06 am
i met you jasper. i don't remember a stutter. we had tequila, though. and maybe my ears stutter when they hear. plus i'm not a cute girl.

Mel Tillis never stutters when he sings. that place should be called the Tillis institute.
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 3:20 pm
my dick is too big, and i'm way too attractive.
Posted: Jun 12, 2006 9:23 pm
the fact that all these homos keep sucking my dick. i mean, what the fuck, man...
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 12:26 am
I have neck pain on one side. It's from too little neck support when I sleep. I have a contoured pillow, but it doesn't completely solve the problem
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 4:11 am
Attn lower back pain folks... here's my story. I had that shit for many many years. As I hit my late 30s I also started to have achey hips and calves. In my 30s I felt like I was 60! Docs told me I had everything from sciatica to restless leg syndrome, and 1 even wanted to drill a hole into my hip bone. But guess what? I was having foot probs. Went to a podiatrist and got orthodics specially molded for my feet so that my arches stay in the correct position, and voila! Miraculously no more back, leg, hip or knee pain! Everything was just out of line!
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 8:37 am
hey..spa is cheap over here in Ukraine
just tell 'em "no sexie" you get the bargain rate.
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 6:31 pm
lower back pain folks

i'm going to try rolfing

restless leg syndrome

nadine, you gots the 'jimmy legs'????
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 6:42 pm | Edited by: junior
my eyebrows is all crazy lookin, and the one eye is two colors. i hate that shit
im missing a lil bit off the end of my index finger from a punch press at work too, and when its cold, it hurts like fuck
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 7:31 pm
my blackness
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 8:16 pm
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 8:32 pm
I hate that my bladder is the size of an acorn. I am no fun on road trips.
Posted: Jun 13, 2006 10:04 pm
My super HUGH COCK...hahahaha
Posted: Jun 14, 2006 6:13 pm
Hey, what is this button for?"
Nice friend.
Posted: Jun 14, 2006 6:20 pm
I have the back pain too, probably will forever. I found a GREAT chiropractor but I still have to go once or twice a month (probably forever also.) Practicing yoga regularly helps too, but I haven't been doing that either.

I have huge boobs and I'm pretty sick of them. Dana loves them of course but he doesn't have to carry them around all day. If I lose a bunch of weight after this baby, I'm seriously considering a reduction (unless of course they get substantially smaller on their own.) It would probably help with my posture, and back pain. Of all the women I know that have had reductions, not one of them has regretted it. I always wished I could go bra-less without feeling totally self conscious about my giant knockers bouncing around. (Us chicks, we are never satisfied. The girls with the itty-bitty titties will be going "That BITCH!") Sigh.
Posted: Jun 14, 2006 8:51 pm
My body sweats alot. I life up my fucking arms wearing my grey t and my fucking shirt is cloaked! What a fucking rotter!!
Posted: Jun 14, 2006 9:03 pm
GREAT chiropractor

no such thing.
Posted: Jun 14, 2006 9:40 pm
I wish my ass was a tad smaller.
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