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Goner Message Board / ???? / I Just Kicked Out My Roommate.
Posted: May 19, 2006 6:17 am
Things came to a head (temper tantrum #55 over reasonable request #4) tonight and I kicked her out on the spot. She had her mom come pick her and her shit up. I broke down what she owed on paper and reimbursed her for the remainder. I have never seen such a hateful, spiteful person in action before. She was muttering veiled threats when she was a-packing. She wasn't on the lease and i've been sweet as a jelly roll to her. I just couldn't take it anymore. Am I fucked? Anyone else go through this?
Posted: May 19, 2006 6:59 am
She's probably gonna come back 16 years from now and make obscene phone calls to you and send arsenic laced cakes and goodies your family and friends. I say watch out.
Posted: May 19, 2006 7:36 pm
Wow. I was up late last night, so my vision ain't so hot today, but I thought when I first glanced at the title of this thread it said "I just made out with my room mate". Better luck next time...
Posted: May 19, 2006 7:43 pm
i'm planning on doing the same thing to my roomate when he gets back from vacation (from being unemployed, by the way). i'm a tad worried though...i'm not home much and worry about what this fuck will do to my shit when i'm going. might have to padlock the door
Posted: May 19, 2006 7:46 pm | Edited by: fierydrunk
I was "kicked out" in college by one roommate writing (on behalf of her & the other two wimps) A BITCHY LETTER TO MY DAD!!!! The letter was ridiculous and the part that will always stick with me is, "She is headed on a path towards destruction." Wow!!!!!

I got a bad ass studio and loved living alone after that hellish time.
Posted: May 19, 2006 7:48 pm
I got a padlock on my door too. I had the same deal..Bye Bye. Padlock and two keys. I'm sick of the whole thing. My new rule...You can crash on my couch if you can't make it home but, don't even bring an overnight bag. Ain't no one brushing teeth in my house but me. NO MORE ROOMATES!!!
Posted: May 19, 2006 7:52 pm
Just change the locks. Locksmiths do that all the time (think buying a new home) and it only costs about $10 a lock (for a mobile locksmith) - a bargain if you actually have anything worth fucking up/stealing.
Posted: May 19, 2006 7:57 pm
Make sure you are home when she is moving out the rest of her stuff and if she is a violent sort, have back up...I know people who had to call the police (not on me--I was glad for their passive-aggressive kick-out).
Posted: May 19, 2006 8:05 pm | Edited by: The Troll
I remember one time, I lived in this house with five other people and we kicked a sixth out. He was basically a worthless, jobless piece of shit that was a compulsive liar and would lie about anything. Often times, he would drive up to the house in a new sports car that he told us he had just purchased when he was actually just test driving it. He was also wanted for some sort of credit scam. Strangley, he could never find the money to pay us what he owed (~$1,000). Anyway, a few weeks after we kicked him out, we discovered that he would sneak back in to the house during the day, do his laundry, eat our food, smoke this one guy's pot. Once we worked it out, we all drove over to his new apartment, let ourselves in through an open window and waited for him to come home. He opened the door with his laundry basket in his arms, dropped it and ran off. We didn't catch up to him but we did do a number to his place with the "instruments" we had brought along. I wish we had just changed the locks as it's more fun to laugh at a stupid fucker through a window than chase a scared fat fuck down an alley.
Posted: May 19, 2006 8:56 pm
i got kicked out by my roommate in baton rouge because she was fucking my boyfriend and they wanted to be together. bad news.
Posted: May 19, 2006 9:00 pm
Posted: May 19, 2006 9:09 pm
Thanks for the advice. Since she blames everyone else for her litany of miniscule problems I know she'll try to get back at me and my remaining roomie. I was wondering how much of a case she had in small claims as I didn't give her the thirty day written notice. When she comes back for the remainder she'll probably just call me a "douchebag drunk" at the top of her lungs and slam the door really hard, again. Boring.

Laughing at stupid fuck through window<chasing scared fat fuck down alley.
I figure.
Posted: May 19, 2006 9:12 pm
i don't think she'd have any real case in small claims court since she wasn't on the lease at all and you paid her the remainder of the rent back.

chasing a scared fat fuck down an alley does sound pretty funny. fat people running are funny.
Posted: May 19, 2006 9:18 pm
I'll always live alone. Fuck it. I'll eat the extra $200 per month so I don't have to worry about any fuckin' mood swings, deadbeats, fuckheads, etc.
Posted: May 19, 2006 10:19 pm
I had another roommate once that was equally worthless. He was prone to panic attacks (sorry for you afflicted goners, but I had no sympathy for this guy) and deemed it necessary to drop out of school and stop working. He decided the best thing for him was to stay at home, inside our apartment, eating my food, watching my tv and using my stereo as a guitar/keyboard amplifier.

When I wasn't working, I couldn't stand going home because the he was either using my stereo or my tv and I basically only had my room to go to since it was a very small apartment - one of those ones off a landing and a single kitchen/living area.

One day, I had a bunch of friends come over with a van and truck and told the roommate that I was tired of his shit and was moving out. I said that I had taken my name off the lease and had canceled the phone. Then my friends started moving my furniture, kitchen utensils, etc. out to the trucks. He was on the phone to some girlfriend in Hawaii an didn't seem to care until we took the tv away. Then he had a panic attack. The best thing about it was that I really wasn't moving out. I was just foolin. I drove my shit around for a day and was going to move back in but he had just disappeared. I waited a week before actually moving out for real. Good times. That taught that fucker to put creamed corn in the pancake batter!
Posted: May 19, 2006 10:23 pm
That's not to say that I only ever had bad roommates. I once had a roommate that dated a belly dancer and would have her coworkers over constantly. I also had a roommate who only dated Hooters girls

Belly Dancer Coworkers = lots of sweet hipped canoodling
Hooter girl girlfriends = lots of annoying, mentally challenged fights over hair conditioner that I never stole
Posted: May 19, 2006 10:32 pm
what state do you live in popo?

in some states, regardless of the lease, if a person lives somewhere for 30 days or more, the law considers them a resident of that living space. de facto.

that would mean that changing the locks is out of the question.
you will get in trouble by the law even if the roommate is not on the lease.

however - if your roommate's mom picked her up and knows you reminbursed her - you're probably OK on this matter
Posted: May 19, 2006 10:32 pm | Edited by: fierydrunk
The girls that kicked me out spent all their time fighting over inane stuff while I ignored them and went out and drank. Then they ganged up on me after it got too boring to argue with each other, I suppose. I do recall one fight between the ballsy roommate and the meekest roommate where the former shoved a plastic container of margarine in the latter's face and said in her annoying Midwestern accent: "Look at my butter (sic)!!!! I know you have have been eating it becuase there are FORK MARKS in it! Who else in here would use a fork to get butter? Are you eating it like it is food???"
Posted: May 19, 2006 11:49 pm
I live north of the border in Ottawa. I don't know if a 30 day rule is in effect in Ontario. I've been looking for info to no avail.

The only thing left remaining now is her waffle iron which i'm pretty sure she left on purpose (to dangle the lock/key issue over my head). Whatevah, i've called the landlord and he's gonna change the locks.

"Look at my butter (sic)!!!! I know you have have been eating it becuase there are FORK MARKS in it! Who else in here would use a fork to get butter? Are you eating it like it is food???"

See, that's why I still put up with roommates. I'm usually the impartial/removed guy and that type of shit is hilarious.
Posted: May 19, 2006 11:56 pm
I live north of the border in Ottawa.

Posted: May 20, 2006 12:24 am
Oh it was hilarious. My dad and I were drunk and laughing at their "Headed down a path towards destruction" letter. After I left, she just kept abusing the other two and I had my nice cozy studio all to myself.
Posted: May 20, 2006 12:41 am
accent: "Look at my butter (sic)!!!! I know you have have been eating it becuase there are FORK MARKS in it! Who else in here would use a fork to get butter? Are you eating it like it is food???"

Posted: May 20, 2006 12:47 am
my roomate is just a super lame person....he's a 30 year old college graduate without a job, no friends, no phone..nothing. he yawns super obnoxiously loud, sneezes louder, leaves all the lights on and the tv, stereo, bathroom fan. he sits in his fucking room playing his goddawful elliot smith-influenced acoustic music, singing at the top of his lungs or listening to modest mouse.
i'm slightly worried he might do something to my shit...i have 2 cats that i would be worried about as well. fuck this guy...anybody wanna make a few hundred for making him dissapear?
Posted: May 20, 2006 12:49 am
I remember going to the store gettin a few things to eat the following day and come home from work on the following day and see nothing but the butter left in the fridge. Oh wait, the Brita Jug too.
Posted: May 20, 2006 12:57 am
Hey, Mr. Hay! If dude's not paying rent and not a great friend tell him you need him to be out by the 1st and modest mouse sucks. I'm sure he'll come to his senses and leave. Otherwise, take the troll's advice with the whole fake move thing. I almost did that too. If you don't want heat or flak for taking the upper hand pull the landlord card if you can...tell him his name's not on the lease and he has to go or you'll get charged for x amount of months in penalties or get evicted...Worked for me.
Posted: May 20, 2006 1:01 am
see nothing but the butter left in the fridge.

Were there fork marks in it?
Posted: May 20, 2006 1:05 am
well, the way things are if he puts up shit and doesn't wanna go then me and the other roomate are gonna move out...leaving him alone. which would be fine except i love this house...i have a HUGE room for a good price which is rare in the bay area. i'd hate to have to give this up because of him...but if that's what i gotta do.
i have a friend moving from NY in july who would take over his room too....
Posted: May 20, 2006 1:12 am
Is he on the lease? If you got there first, tell him he has to go. Give him a month due to his total isolation and keep prodding him if you don't see any action on his part. Keep the cats at someone else's place if you start seeing any accelerated kookiness.
Posted: May 20, 2006 1:32 am
Thanks Donkey.
Posted: May 20, 2006 1:54 am
I had the most fucked up roommate on earth about 6 years back. She started shooting up heroin, was fucking a guy with aids (without condoms) and got pregnant by him. Things finally came to a head when she lost her 4th consecutive job and spent her half of the rent on an abortion. That retard used to go in my room and take my records and play them on this old console I had in the living room. The needle was older than I am. Dumbass scratched up a few of my most rare records. She also used to lend out my movies and cds. She acted like a psycho when confronted.
Oh, yeah and she'd try and sleep with any guy I liked. She was a rancid cow.I still see her out at the bar sometimes and she is always completely wasted! Someday, she'll just drunkenly crash her car and die.
Posted: May 20, 2006 2:10 am
No fork marks...

No Roomies to worry about.

It's gonna be fucked if I go home tonight and there's fork marks in my butter...I'd move.
Posted: May 20, 2006 6:59 pm
believe it or not, he's actually not on the lease. it's one of those houses where people just move in and out, and the landlady doesn't give a shit as long as the rent is paid. if i wanted to (and was able to) be a prick i would just toss his stuff on the street and tell him to get lost, but i can't be cold. i'm just gonna have to buckle down and tell him to leave....padlock my door to keep my kitties safe. otherwise, i'll just kill him
Posted: May 20, 2006 8:30 pm
i am the queen of having jerkoffs for roommates. oh lord.

one of my roommates before had a cat that didn't understand the concept of a litter box and also thought the tops of my records were a scratching post. i hated that cat so much. i would shut the door of my room, but my roommate always would go in there and borrow clothes and not shut the door back again, so the cat could still come in. the worst was when i got a brand new down comforter for christmas and the cat took a massive shit in the middle of my bed. i came really close to animal abuse a couple of times. when we got in a fight one night, she came into my room and took the needle to my record player and scratched it across one of my records that she didn't like, but i loved. it was pretty much completely fucked - both the record and the record player needle. she also threw one of my glass vases across my room and shattered it and blamed it on the cat, saying it knocked it off the shelf. riiiiight. that's why it was all the way across the room from where it was and completely shattered and there was a mark on the wall. she hid the mlgw bill from me so she wouldn't have to pay it. it was in my name and i was wondering why i hadn't gotten a bill for a couple of months. she lied to me about time warner too and asked for money for it until one day it was turned off for nonpayment (that was in her name). she didn't pay the landlord rent twice, even though i did. we got evicted, but fortunately my name wasn't on the lease at all.

another roommate in cincinnati that i had at one point went fucking nuts on speed and quit her job as a legal secretary in order to hang out with some of her old punk rock squatter friends who she let live in our house. there was even a squatter kid living in our backyard in a tent. the landlord was pissed as hell. i ended up moving and then the girl that moved in after me, when i talked to her a year later told me that one of the squatter kids was shooting heroin and ended up stealing a fuckload of her stuff to sell it for money. glad i was gone before that happened to me.

had another group of roommates who was awful when i was in bloomington. one was a speed dealer, one was a stripper, and the other was a stupid whore raver chick who was a wannabe promoter. the day i moved in, the stripper was od'ing on speed. the stupid raver chick was a dumb whore and a half who would fuck anything that walked as long as they were a dj or a promoter. her room was so nasty. when the rest of us would clean the house, we would pile all the stuff she left out in the living room on her bed, and the dumb bitch would just burrow underneath it to sleep. funny thing was that i was in school at the time too, and i ended up splitting out of house and didn't even care that i was in the middle of the semester. i just wanted the fuck out of that house. i would cook and people would complain about the smell because they never ate at all. it was insane.
Posted: May 21, 2006 1:44 am
Roommates suck shit. Made the mistake of moving in with this dude and his ex-girlfriend (though I didn't know they had used to fuck at the time) because they had a nice place in a nice area and we had a couple of friends in common. Turned out the dude was a fucking racist, alcoholic moron and the girl was this rich little princess from Texas continuing to live up here on mom and dad's dime even after she'd finished school. I'd come home and almost every night there would be plates on the fucking sofa and empty bottles everywhere, cat shit on the floor, pubes all over the bathtub, and never once did I complain, AND YET, I was the one THEY were asking to move out over not doing the dishes and occasionally using their fucking soap and toothpaste. The alcoholic was so paranoid about me using his shit after, he wrote the word "NO" on his mouthwash. It was so funny, too, because they had this intervention to tell me they wanted me to leave and the bitch would always get the alcoholic to do the talking even though she was the one who had the biggest problem with me. I pretty much told them to go fuck themselves and by-law they couldn't kick me out without a month's notice. Everyone ended up moving out of there a month or two later.
Posted: May 21, 2006 3:28 am | Edited by: razor shines
When I wasn't working, I couldn't stand going home because the he was either using my stereo or my tv and I basically only had my room to go to since it was a very small apartment - one of those ones off a landing and a single kitchen/living area.

This was the thing I could not stand the most. The fact that one roommate or both would often monopolize the entire living room or have their fucking lame scenester friends over all the time till all hours of the night. I'd spend hours holed up in my tiny ass room just wishing they'd leave, pass out or just die. At one point, they both bought laptops and used to sit in the living room watching the worst fucking specialty cable channels imaginable while they both surfed the internet on their laptops. Talk about social retards. It was so bad, I started sleeping over at my dad's every second night.
Posted: May 21, 2006 8:45 am
I'll always live alone. Fuck it. I'll eat the extra $200 per month so I don't have to worry about any fuckin' mood swings, deadbeats, fuckheads, etc.
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