Posted: May 16, 2006 5:03 am
I drink alone, frequently. This is because I am a 'goner', which is a more acceptable way of saying I am an alcoholic with decent taste in music.
I have noticed that a bunch of amateurs like to post on this board while drunk and alone, resulting in some really stupid, gay blablablas being written. Like, every night. I would like to offer up some advice. I'm qualified to do this because I have been both an internet geek and a drunk going on ten years now.
First of all, don't write anything on the computer when you're drunk. Seriously. Just don't. My present self excluded. Not only are you going to post shit on the goner board that isn't funny, you're going to write e-mails to ex-sexies that you'll regret, have instant message sessions that end up in misunderstandings and awkwardness, send naked pictures of yourself to another continent, etc. Just don't do it. Drunks on the computer are even worse than drunks on the street. Not to mention how pathetic your nerdy drunk ass is. Nobody respects you.
In conclusion, don't torment others with your drunken stupids. Go look at porn, or watch something on cable, or drink more, or all of the above. The reason you're drunk and alone is because nobody wants to listen to your stupid drunk ass-- remember that. Don't take it out on internet people. Myself, I've been taking a lot of baths and doing some reading. I love reading. Unfortunately reading the goner board has been ruined by a bunch of lonely, bitter, drunk fucks.