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Goner Message Board / ???? / Shit that people without a sense of humor say to make themselves feel like they're funny
Posted: May 5, 2006 9:45 pm
 
I was buying beer today and I yawned and the cashier said, "Don't do that. It's not allowed!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's so FUCKING clever and original and funny! Other shit:

"WHOA! Too much information!"
"Workin' hard or hardly workin'??"

I also hate work humor, when somebody I barely know makes a joke about either 1.) when the day is going to end, 2.) that Friday is coming up, or 3.) how it's Monday and they wish it was still the weekend. There's one dude I'd always say hi to, and ask how he was doing, and he'd INVARIABLY just shrug and say "It's Tuesday" or whatever day it was, as if that answered my question. Fucking DILDO BREATH!!!!
Posted: May 5, 2006 9:51 pm
 
Is it 5o'clock yet?

No really.........it's been a long day.
TGIF
Posted: May 5, 2006 9:52 pm
 
Wednesday is hump day.
Posted: May 5, 2006 9:54 pm
 
It's 5 o'clock somewhere, right? HAHAHAHAHA
Posted: May 5, 2006 9:55 pm | Edited by: Shawn Carpetbagger
 
I really hate when I hear the douche bags in the office kitchen trying to recreate a scene from the previous night's NBC sitcom.
Posted: May 5, 2006 9:56 pm
 
People are still quoting "Austin Powers" in 2006. It's true.
Posted: May 5, 2006 9:56 pm
 
Today at the Kwik Trip.

"Yeah, Can I get two packs of Camel Lights?"

"I don't know, can you?" Replies the attendant.

"Yeah, can I?" I reply.

"Yes, you MAY" the bitch says.
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:00 pm
 
In Memphis, for three months out of the year, when your eyelashes are singed and it's like sticking your head in an oven when you walk out your front door..."IS IT HOT ENOUGH FER YA? HAR HAR HAR."
But, I say it too.
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:00 pm
 
"Can I ask a question?"
"You just did."
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:01 pm
 
"Can I ask a stupid question?"
"There are no stupid questions."
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:02 pm
 
I hate it when coworkers get menstrual blood on my dick. That shit is not funny at all.
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:02 pm
 
"I've got your [insert current topic] right here." while grabbing crotch.
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:02 pm
 
"I've got your menstrual blood on my dick right here."
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:20 pm
 
Q. Did you get a haircut?
A. No I got all of them cut.
Never funny.

Q. What time is it?
A. (Guy doesn't have a watch yet he looks at his wrist anyway) It's a quarter past a freckle!

Everyone knows the appropriate wise-ass answer here is "half past the monkey's ass, a quarter to his balls."
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:20 pm
 
"You're a ________."
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:22 pm
 
Anyone know about the "Yes, No" game?
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:23 pm
 
"Have a blessed day." Die, bitch. In Hell.
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:23 pm
 
any of a large assortment of quotes stolen from dave chapelle
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:25 pm
 
"I've got your [insert current topic] right here." while grabbing crotch.
"You're a ________."

wrong
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:25 pm
 
I still laugh whenever anybody says "gay" or "fag".
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:27 pm
 
me too. i laugh with laughter.
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:28 pm
 
Gay fags
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:28 pm
 
thats not funny
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:38 pm
 
Me: Whatcha up to?
Dad: About $3.15 a day.

For not being a fag, my Dad is gay.
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:39 pm
 
It's 5' o clock somewhere!
Posted: May 5, 2006 10:39 pm
 
"Can I ask a stupid question?"
"There are no stupid questions..."


This is only funny when followed by "...only stupid people who ask questions."

Some dude named Gonzalo fucked up some paper work the other day and said, "Whoa, smoke another one, Gonz!" Not funny. Naming your kid "Gonzalo"? Hilarious!
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