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Goner Message Board / ???? / Describe your character/role in "goner high school".
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:09 am
 
I'd be the dirty janitor drinking beers in the basement talking about John Lennon like the dude in the Breakfast Club.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:12 am
 
I'm the old maid guidance counselor writing steamy stories on her computer. I can't remember what movie that was...horse face woman played her...
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:13 am
 
I'd be the Jock-Stud Senior screwing sophmore girls and beating the shit out of dudes 100 lbs smaller than me.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:13 am
 
Remember that weird, kinda awkward guy in school that everybody picked on? I'm the guy THAT GUY picked on.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:16 am
 
I'd be dunking freshman dude's heads into the tiolet and flushing it. Then I'd slap their faces and laugh! HA!
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:36 am
 
I'm the guy with the long black trenchcoat That's obsessed w/ firearms & improvised munitions.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:57 am
 
fuck this. i'm ditching
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:59 am
 
I'm the under the radar guy..unless I'm drinking heavily.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 4:11 am
 
A cross between Anthony Michael Hall in "Breakfast Club" and Ralph Macchio in "Crossroads."
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 4:16 am
 
Fuck you think, queerozoid?
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 4:43 am
 
the kid in the back corner who intermittently says something smart assed, but only funny to him
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 4:59 am | Edited by: Whiskey Bent
 
fuck this. i'm ditching

yeah...why should goner high be any different from what once was? it's CRAZY that they actually believed it was my mother's signature....ALMOST every time.

or maybe you could find me haningn with skater boys....their music was better.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 5:25 am
 
Dirk Diggler is the old man in the conversion van (with no door handles on the inside) Driving around the school with a pair of 1987 Miami Vice shades on, trying to pick up on fresh buttholes.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 5:34 am
 
so who is the principle of goner high?
rent-a-cop?
detention hall cock?
study hall monitor?
lunch lady?
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 6:33 am
 
I'm the guy with the fedora and Beatles t-shirt that nobody knows
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 7:30 am
 
so who is the principle of goner high?

principal you idiot
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 7:31 am
 
I showed Spicoli how to get stoned.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 7:42 am
 
fuck High school .. But I did go to goner Jr high.. Brought the first tards single to 8th grade and got laughed at for having a record "man.. white boy my grandma donít even listen to muthfuckin records no mo' " Also got in trouble for having the first oblivians 10" with dlanas boobs on the cover..Had it wedged between my social studies and math book
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 11:12 am
 
I'm the suave english teacher hittin' on those co-eds that got a hankering for some real life experience crotch wise. Forbidden love in my cottage down by the river. Those pony tail tarts dig my MG and my 8 track but eventually my indisecretions cross paths, a single mom for one of these contessas sees red and the shit hits the fan. South croos the border with a hitched ride, a name and id change.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 12:04 pm
 
I'm the geeky virgin who makes comp. tapes for girls he likes. Can we cuddle? I drew you something....
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 12:09 pm
 
Gee, I dunno. I guess I would be sort of the jock type! You know, always hanging out with the dudes on the baseball/football team. Talking about girls, cars, whatever. Usual dude talk. Just an average High School guy. But somebody guys can really confide in when they are having girlfriend problems. Like maybe they could sleep over at my house. Who cares if it's the same bed, silly? What do you think I'm some kind of fag? So tell me more about you and Jodey...he opens up a little. I put my arm around him. He doesn't hit me, though. He looks confused but he doesn't fight back. I lean in closer. Carole King is playing on the stereo in the background. "Tapestry". We give each other a big...oh I could go on and on. But mostly sports.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 12:35 pm
 
Booger from revenge of the nerds.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 12:56 pm
 
i hated high school (i hated junior high too, for that matter), so i can't conjure up even a fantasy role. but for some inexplicable reason, i was on both the homecoming and prom courts senior year, and i did not win either crown, dammit.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:00 pm
 
hated high school (i hated junior high too, for that matter), so i can't conjure up even a fantasy role. but for some inexplicable reason, i was on both the homecoming and prom courts senior year, and i did not win either crown, dammit.

For some reason I sort of picture you as being the Hot Punk Chick. So maybe roll with that one.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:31 pm
 
I'd be the VomSorb...ummm love that smell
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 1:33 pm
 
I was slaying vampires.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 2:46 pm
 
Hot art teacher wearing vintage dresses
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 2:50 pm
 
the kid that keeps failing art on purpose
also smokes pot with the teacher
relationship ensues
nationwide fox news coverage
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 2:56 pm
 
The girl that cuts herself.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 2:57 pm
 
Rasta bus driver, that deals out career counseling along with fat quarters really cheap.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 3:27 pm
 
I'm going out withThe girl that cuts herself. but can't really deal so I start talkin to Lowery about it but all he want s to do is talk about the game. One track mind. So i buy the new Chili Peppers tape from Cat;s and a fat sack from the kooky-ass bus driver who smells like office supplies and try to start over.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 3:48 pm
 
Just remember, I look through you lockers and listen to your conversations. You don't know that, but I do.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 3:50 pm
 
I'm the dealer on the schoolyard.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 3:58 pm
 
but can't really deal so I start talkin to Lowery about it but all he want s to do is talk about the game.

Matt, I didn't know you and Tina were having problems (pats you on the lower back). She's crazy, anyways, man. You gotta get your mind off of that and try to focus on the game next week. Have you ever heard of a band called Roxy Music? Whoa, I just realized, my parents are out of town. Pool time! Go get changed while I throw that on the 8 track. Or fuck it, let's just get changed in here. It's not like there are any girls around.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 4:09 pm
 
The quiet kid that starts all the fires.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 4:32 pm
 
this was me--and many more girls on this board, I bet--FOR REAL.

ROCK n' ROLL EULOGY (sounds KILLER!)

Helen Campbell, the new kid on the block. Like many a fresh face in the high school hallway, Helen longs to be part of the in crowd. Of course the popular girls only glance her way long enough to find things to make fun of, cause popular girls are bitches like that. So Helen finds herself drawn to the Rock & Roll Girls, a trio of tight clothes wearing, cigarette smoking, jive talking, switchblade toting sisters who Helen spies while staring aimlessly out of the classroom window. She has a little more luck with the bad girls; I mean, they make fun of her too, but take a shine to our somewhat awkward heroine and provide her with her first glimpse of the evil powers of rock and roll. Being the eager sort, Helen's whole world is turned upside down by what she hears. She's tapping her pencil to a different beat and inquiring about exactly what it takes to be a Rock & Roll Girl. After effectively making it to the first base of juvenile delinquency by giving herself a bad girl makeover, a la that scene in Grease where Olivia Newton John trades in her poodle skirt for black spandex pants, [yes!] Helen sneaks out of her house while her parents sleep to dance and throw the devil horns until the wee hours of the morning. When she caps that adventure off with a visit to the local tattoo parlor for her final initiation rite, you know our girl's scored a hellbound homerun. Ah, but the life of a Hellcat isn't all fun and games and Helen Marie Campbell, like every wayward teen, must learn a lesson and pay an ultimate price. Which she ultimately does...
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 5:06 pm | Edited by: Uptight White
 
"Hey man, blow off that basketball game, because JFA is playing a loft tonight downtown. Bring a skateboard, because they definitlely are gonna wanna session after the show. Next weekend, we're playing a college party, and I'll get you in. Hey, your sister will be in town from college that weekend, right? Bring her with you. I'll make sure she has a gooood time."
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 5:23 pm
 
i'd be the hooker with the heart of gold.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 5:27 pm
 
let's just get changed in here. It's not like there are any girls around.

Whoa! Whats up? Are you fucking gay? You a faggot?!
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 6:31 pm
 
as my role in "summertime dudes": i think i'm the chemistry/biology instructor with a german accent and a shady past and a nervous "sieg heil" tick and i ride an WW2 era bmw and the side car has my dog wearing goggles.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 7:23 pm
 
The Dennis Christopher character in "Breaking Away" -substitute the New York Dolls for Opera, and add quaaludes.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 7:44 pm | Edited by: elle
 
the overacheiver nerd chick with an alcohol problem no one knows about. (or would ever suspect.)
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 7:46 pm
 
I'm an afterschool special.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:04 pm
 
YOU'RE an after school special
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:06 pm
 
You're a short bus.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:10 pm
 
you're a lunchroom fiasco
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:11 pm
 
you're a dunce cap.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:14 pm
 
you're a pair of ziparound pants
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:14 pm
 
you're special parking
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:14 pm
 
you're a rising sun headband
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:15 pm
 
wait, that shit is cool
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:15 pm
 
you're a poop that's made out of gay
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:16 pm
 
you're a Husky pencil.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:16 pm
 
And probably a thespian.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:16 pm
 
you're safety scissors
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:17 pm
 
You're a multi-purpose room.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:17 pm
 
Master Debater.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:18 pm
 
You're a room divider.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:18 pm
 
You're a lunch lady.

You're a meal ticket.

You're the resource room.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:19 pm
 
I'm the teacher's lounge.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:19 pm
 
You're a chocolate milk.

You're a detention.

You're a "noogie".
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:20 pm
 
you're a pep rally

to quote the bard "Jack Stands: Thou hast undone our mother.

Mark Beef: Villain, I have done thy mother."
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:20 pm
 
You're a bike rack.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:20 pm
 
And a tether ball.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:22 pm
 
you're a ball rack

and a tethered bike
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:23 pm
 
I'm the geeky virgin who makes comp. tapes for girls he likes. Can we cuddle? I drew you something....

hey singlesgoingsteady, wasn't this "I was the so and so in high school" something you said was a pet peeve of yours a while back? HYPOCRITE!

I'm just teasing. I was bored (boring?) and brainy in high school, until I started hanging around the kids in my art classes and started trying different drugs, which was good for me in the end. I don't know what I am in goner high, though. fat kid?
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:23 pm
 
you're the kid that got strangled by the tether ball.

and the kid that narcs for smoking outside the gym.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:25 pm
 
And Mark Beef, you're a bard.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:32 pm
 
you're a poop that's made out of gay

pure genius. hats off to you sir!
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:39 pm
 
Whoa! Whats up? Are you fucking gay? You a faggot?!

(Pushes you up against a locker). What the fuck did you fuckin' say to me? I'm no fuckin' FAG, man! Maybe you're the faggot. Jake- your my buddy but if you ever say that kinda shit to me again, I'm reporting your ass to the coach. I think smoking that joint last summer put some weird ideas into your head. KEEP YOUR MIND ON THE GAME. (Pushes you again). Fucking faggot....

(walks away staring at you)
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 8:59 pm
 
Can I be the guidance counselor?
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 9:19 pm
 
Nope, that's me now. (see second post)
But that wasn't me in high school. I was the real smart drama/art girl who did tons of acid and still made straight As. Rode the roads for an hour in the morning before school getting stoned and listening to Sid Selvidge and Willis Alan Ramsey. The nice girl who put out if I liked you.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 9:39 pm
 
Come in my office and we'll talk about it, son.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 9:52 pm
 
(walks away staring at you)


Coach Lowery is SUCH a hardass!
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 10:03 pm
 
that explains why every band on his label looks and sounds the same.
Posted: Apr 5, 2006 10:14 pm
 
The kid in the free lunch line
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 4:44 am
 
I am (was) a dropout.
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 5:55 am
 
I am the guy who had the coolest skateboard,, but id never skate it.. for fear of scratchin up the graphics on the bottom.. cuz goddamnit i had a Vision Gator!!! it was way rad... i think they might of called me a "poser".
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 5:59 am | Edited by: dutch hercules
 
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 6:18 am
 
i'm the one you make fun of until you need help with your homework
or a ride home
and you have no idea i'm dating college boys
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 6:28 am
 
I was the one driving all you losers around cause nobody else had a fuckin car. ..losers.
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 6:38 am
 
i'm the one you make fun of until you need help with your homework
or a ride home
and you have no idea i'm dating college boys


wow. that was my real high school role.
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 6:47 am
 
I'm the guy who showers in gym class with his underwear on.
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 3:00 pm
 
anyone need beer? I'm going into 7-11. Small surcharge of course...
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 7:52 pm
 
I'd be the neurotic best friend of the popular kid. Like Cameron to Ferris, only a chick.
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 8:07 pm
 
The angry guy wearing a Megadeth t-shirt that can't seem to get laid. But I can play Holy Wars on my Charvel!
Posted: Apr 6, 2006 8:12 pm
 
fuck this. i'm ditching

I'm with you! We can go smoke cigarettes & joints just beyond school property & make fun of all the metalhead dweebs that lust over us.
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 5:51 pm
 
The shy sensitive artist girl that none of the guys ask out. When I graduate and run into them at parties in college, suddenly I'm hot.
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 5:51 pm
 
Everybody drinks at parties...
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 5:53 pm
 
The shy sensitive artist girl that none of the guys ask out.

"Who ASKED you?!? Bucky Beaver!!!
(Pulls your ponytail)
HA! HA!
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 5:53 pm
 
I was kicked out of school.
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 5:59 pm
 
I'm the kid trying to learn about punk rock from the punk rockers but they dis me because I look "normal."
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 6:01 pm
 
I'm the kid trying to learn about punk rock

Joe, Have you ever heard, "Entombed", "Slayer" or "Venom"? It's WAY cooler than "punk rock"!!
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 6:05 pm
 
But not as cool as Boogie Down Productions.
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 6:10 pm
 
But not as cool as Boogie Down Productions

What's that? Is that what the blacks listen to?
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 6:12 pm
 
Yeah!
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 6:14 pm
 
Yeah!

Huh, I dunno about that.... Vemon is white guys and they sing about the devil and stuff...
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 6:15 pm
 
IN LEAGUE WITH SATAN
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 6:21 pm
 
I've excepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. Do you want to pray with me?
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 6:22 pm
 
I've excepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. Do you want to pray with me?

No, and I'm not going to any more of your fucking Wednesday night "parties."
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 8:09 pm
 
Prayer Warriors! Meet me on your knees! The Prayer Tower is OPEN!!!
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 8:36 pm
 
I've excepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior.

you've EXCEPTED Jesus - that is NOT the same as you've ACCEPTED Jesus.

can we presume your Lord & Savior is anyone from Hunter S. Thompson to Marilyn Manson, then?
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 8:42 pm
 
Everybody drinks at parties...
Good point, and your football player friends aren't there to make fun of you...for liking someone "different"
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 8:46 pm
 
"Who ASKED you?!? Bucky Beaver!!!
(Pulls your ponytail)

(Sniff sniff)
BULLY! God I wish I'd kicked that asshole in the balls. He so deserved it. He didn't actually pull my ponytail, though... I didn't grow my cajones until later in life.
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 9:02 pm
 
you've EXCEPTED Jesus - that is NOT the same as you've ACCEPTED Jesus.

I once saw some serious rednecks driving a church van/jesus-mobile that said "Except Jesus Into Your Heart!! JOIN US!! BLAHBLAHBLAH" and so on. I figured that they probably hired someone to do the detailing...that dude probably had a really good laugh at their expense. I wish things like that happened to ME at work.
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 9:09 pm
 
I'd be the guy I was. Not the leader but the middleman in stealing the whole portfolio of the faculty's pictures on portrait day. Under the radar prankster, liked by teachers 'cause I have good grades. Advice buddy to to the chicks I can't seem to have. Nonchalent; not much of a star, just there but doin' alright and havin' a good time of it guy.
...then again, that was then, this is now.
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 9:09 pm
 
you've EXCEPTED Jesus - that is NOT the same as you've ACCEPTED Jesus.

Whoops! now you know what I was really doing in high school!
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 9:14 pm
 
Hey Grant you're pretty much the same now. You are one cool mofo, I know that much.
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 9:21 pm
 
I'm only one of three guys on the cheerleading squad. All the girls think I'm cute because I'm so well groomed. The teachers love me and the football coaches hate me. I have a girlfriend. We've been going out since freshman year but we've never had sex. We've made-out alot though. She keeps asking when we're going to have sex and I tell her that I saving it for marriage, but I'm not ready for marriage either. Why does everybody make such a big deal about sex anyway? For Halloween I dressed as "a cat in a tuxedo". I wore cat ears on my head, greasepaint whiskers, white gloves, dress pants with suspenders, black shoes and no shirt. People didn't get it and said I looked like a Chippendale's dancer! Whatever! When we went to the Summer Beach party I wore speedos and everybody called me a big fag. I'm sure, that's the kind of bathing suit they wear in Europe! Anyhoo, It's not like I haven't had a girlfriend for 3 years! Why would I do that if I didn't like girls? Whatever!
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 9:52 pm
 
My Yearbook message to Greg Lowery:

Greg, I can't believe this year is almost over!! It was SOOOOO fun having you in Mr. Watson's Art class this year... :) I think I'm going to take life drawing classes this fall when I'm at Junior College!!! You should do it too!! You could be a model, they're always looking for extreme body types: skinny, fat, athletic-like you... It would be SOOOOOO FUN!!! Anyhoo, I had SOOOOOOO much fun this year; the games (to bad the season didn't go better), the pool parties at your mom's boyfriend's house (Danny Matson almost drowned me wrestling me!!!), the Bible Club, Christmas Bell Choir, beach parties.... :) Maybe this year I'll go with you to one of your ski parties at your uncle's place in Mammoth! I don't know how to ski but sitting in a Jacuzzi drinking vodka sounds fun... :) Stay Cool (I know you will) and have a bitchin' Summer... :) See you in the Fall if I don't see you this Summer, HG
Posted: Apr 7, 2006 11:54 pm
 
(Closes yearbook)

Hey, George, thanks for signing this. (First period bell rings). Ah, fuck! Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something, though (looks back and forth through an empty hallway). Look...have you ever felt like there was...something inside of you? Like something that made you different? You know how like, some guys are good at offense, and some guys were just born for defense, and some guys...just have something they were born with that makes them unique. But it's like maybe a talent or something they don't WANT to be born with, they just can't help it...like..(sighs). Ah, forget it. I gotta go to class. I hope that FAG Tyler Anderson is taking notes for me.

(walks away staring at you).
Posted: Apr 8, 2006 12:15 am
 
Doug Johnson: Hey, were you just talking to Greg Lowery?!? He's a TOTAL dick! I thought he beat the shit out of you that one time!

Haunted George: Oh, He wanted me to sign his yearbook. He's not really such a dick. When you're talking to him one on one he can be really nice... It's just when the other football guys are around him... it's like he turns into this other person.... (sigh)....
Posted: Apr 8, 2006 3:10 am
 
I found this posted on a tree, near the river's edge at one of our fave make out and get baked spots...
"now that those trench coated hard core huffers and weed heads have killed a solid dozen of you would be young republicans closet cock suckers, I have returned with my special strike team to patrol the halls, police the lockers and monitor the building entrances with dogs and metal detectors. Dogs are also trained to sniff out pussy and ass juices, use those wet wipes after quickies kids. Next semester we move to morals violations when we conduct manditory piss tests, you have been warned. You will be expelled for wanton disregard, recklesss endangerment and unhygenic behaivor (both the mental and physical versions)"..
GONER HIGH PROTECTION DIVISION
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