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Goner Message Board / ???? / I have spiders.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 1:27 am
 
Big ones. There's a creek that runs behind my house, and woods. Big wolf spiders come in the house this time of year. Other big ones with tiger-striped bellies like to spin webs across the sliding door. If I'm not careful taking the trash out, I'll put my face right into one. Seriously creepy shit.

When you call the exterminators around here, they say "we spray to get rid of the things the spiders eat. Then they leave voluntarily."

Voluntarily? I know that's humane and all, but once they're crawling up my bedsheets, they've kinda crossed the line into me casa, know what I mean? I want nuclear detonation.

Exterminators suck and spiders are taking over my house.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 1:31 am
 
I have ants and burglers...I'm moving.

Good Luck!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 1:32 am
 
Killing spiders is bad luck....but maybe you can make up for it by stepping in dog shit or something.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 1:35 am
 
it would have to be a lot of dog shit. Maybe enough to fill a cement truck.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 1:51 am
 
potato bugs

Very tasty!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 1:55 am
 
We have squirrels living in the attic. We shoot at 'em with a pellet rifle when they come out to gather nuts.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 2:09 am
 
my grandma had raccoons and i have a pit bull...pit bull won
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 2:19 am
 
we only have little spiders and potato bugs up here.

yeah, my wife's family lives closer to the city and that's what they have. Their spiders wouldn't even qualify for appetizers for my spiders. I'm jealous.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 2:56 am
 
I want the picture! I love coons!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 3:35 am
 
Go to Lichterman Nature Center and ask them what kind of TN bird eats spiders. Then tell them that you'll volunteer to be a foster parent for any birds of the spider eating nature, and you can fill your house with them!

No more spiders crawling on the bed, just bird shit everywhere! Considerably less creepy, but much grosser...
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 3:51 am
 
Apparently wasps eat spiders too....it sounds like it's "Pick Your Poison" time.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 3:53 am
 
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 3:54 am
 
I just want to see a bear wrestle a shark in 3 ft. of water.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 4:02 am
 
I just want to see a bear wrestle a shark in 3 ft. of water.

Me too!

Speaking of sharks...When I was in Belize, my snorkel guide swam after this nurse shark...he grabbed it, flipped it over and held it like a baby. I got to pet its belly....
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:19 am
 
I heard somewhere that it's hard to kill spiders with residual pesticides because spiders don't clean themselves like other bugs. You can hunt them down and kill em' with a really nasty spray but a better route is to use the sticky traps that are supposed to attract them.

The spider's hygenic habits may explain the exterminator's remark about not targeting the spiders. Aren't ladybugs supposed to kill spiders?
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:20 am
 
ladybugs eat aphids, which are related to spiders.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:22 am
 
I also want to see a lion and a crocodile fight.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:38 am
 
monkey vs. ostrich
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:42 am
 
Yes. Yes, I agree.

llama vs. anaconda?
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:15 am
 
I've had lotsa luck with mothballs.

Put them outside windows, under porches, etc. If you put them in your house (we put a few in the rafters) the smell isn't great for a couple days, but they WILL get rid of the problem. Depends how serious you are. I was pretty fucking serious about not having spiders drop on my head while I was sleeping. My yard is completely infested, and this seemed better than ruining the water supply.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 12:11 pm
 
Put them outside windows, under porches, etc. If you put them in your house (we put a few in the rafters) the smell isn't great for a couple days, but they WILL get rid of the problem. Depends how serious you are. I was pretty fucking serious about not having spiders drop on my head while I was sleeping. My yard is completely infested, and this seemed better than ruining the water supply.


maybe I'll try that. Hell, maybe it'll attract women over 60 instead. I could run a biker bar for grannies.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 12:55 pm
 
oh man, sounds like you need to move
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 2:57 pm
 
I also want to see a lion and a crocodile fight.

I've seen it! On some nature program. It was actually a group of huge crocodiles vs. a group of lions fighting over some carcass in Africa. The lions fought em for a while, but didn't stand a chance and ran away like a bunch of pussies.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 2:59 pm
 
Stick a sign at the creek saying 'Spiders this way!' and point it in the opposite direction to your house. After they've walked a mile or so in the opposite direction, and realised they've been had, they'll pretty much stay there and not go to the trouble of walking back. Considering their size, a mile is a long way.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 2:59 pm
 
Since we bought our house in the country, we've had a variety of infestations:

- ants
- wasps
- fleas
- ladybugs
- clusterflies
- bats

and my favourite: SNAKES!

Fortunately, the spiders tend to stick to the crawlspace for the most part - they help take care of mosquitos and other pests anyway.

One thing we haven't had (I think they stick to the city) is cockroaches, and I'm very happy about that.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 4:59 pm
 
Mothballs are quite toxic if digested. . . just keep that in mind if you have pets. Considering how they smell, I can't imagine an animal voluntarily eating them but they can eat some pretty stupid things sometings.

Mike and I should get into the business of removing snakes from people's property. We're not afraid of them. My dad used to be the neighborhood 'bat removal' guy; he'd just catch them in his fishing net and release them.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:02 pm
 
I've seen it! On some nature program. It was actually a group of huge crocodiles vs. a group of lions fighting over some carcass in Africa. The lions fought em for a while, but didn't stand a chance and ran away like a bunch of pussies.

Now you're talkin'!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:04 pm
 
Yes. Yes, I agree.

llama vs. anaconda?


Kangaroo vs. Me

that is the ultimate.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:15 pm
 
4 rounds:

sober Martel Vs sober Kangaroo

Martell pissed as a fart Vs Sober Kangeroo

sober martel Vs pissed as a fart kangaroo

pissed as a fart Martel Vs pissed as a fart kangaroo

That'd be worth betting on, I'd say evens
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:21 pm
 
One problem: no such thing as sober Martel.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:22 pm
 
I have record fags all over the place around here.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:24 pm
 
One problem: no such thing as sober Martel.

We're you sober before the hurra? Has reconstruction driven you to madness?
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:25 pm
 
Star Wars nerds vs. Star Trek nerds

Record geeks vs. emo kidz

D&D players vs. Beanie Baby collectors
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:27 pm
 
You don't want to tussle with a roo, mate. They are not trifles. They have huge claws and basically stand, balanced, on their tails while they disembowell you with the claws on their feet. Here's a picture.

When I lived down under, we had these spiders everywhere. They are as big as your hand and their webs really suck to get off. Other than that, they weren't too bad. Snakes were more of a danger, oh, and drunk roos.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:28 pm
 
My little sister found a brown recluse in her bedroom a long time ago. Those fuckers will KILL you.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:29 pm
 
Here's a picture.
That's the most awesome middle finger I've ever seen anyone give.

Why does Austrailia have the most poisonous and deadly everything?
Most deadly octopus, Coral Sea snake, Great Whites, Wombats?
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:36 pm
 
Plus ther'es these really tiny jelly fish down there that kill people. You can't even see 'em when you're swimming in the ocean.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:39 pm
 
SPeaking of wasps & roaches (off the spider topic-sorry) Luciferous L hipped me to this wild shit. Brain surgeon wasps. ZOMBIE ROACHES!
http://www.boingboing.net/2006/02/03/wasp_performs_roachb.html
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:41 pm
 
Snakes were more of a danger, oh, and drunk roos.

Yeah, those "brown snakes" are dangerous fuckers! Here, we always called DeKay's snakes "brown snakes" -- they're these perfectly harmless, shoelace size babies.

Those sea snakes -- banded kraits -- I guess they don't bite often but if they do, you're dead.

I thought a brown recluse would only kill you if you had certain allergies (like bee stings), or an immune deficiency? Maybe I'm thinking of black widows though -- my dad was bitten by one of those; he's got a scar on his leg but he survived.

Worst thing I ever got was a wasp sting.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:43 pm
 
Why does Austrailia have the most poisonous and deadly everything?

I dunno. Perhaps lack of predators? I lived there for a few years and you really only worry about spiders in the city. Out in the country, it's a different matter. Mostly snakes, brown snakes, where I was living. You really only have a set amount of time from being bit to getting to hospital. Up in the northern states/territories, they have more of those vipers and whatnot, that don't really give you time to get to the hospital. Another bad thing on the coasts are the box jellyfish.

When I say that there's no predators, it's kinda weird. You would expect some large thing to be there, but they don't have skunks, wolves, etc. They have foxes, weird lizard things that grow really long(that chase you), tons of galahs (parrots? - they're like pigeons) and the kangaroos are like deer. Everyone in the country drives in the middle of the lane and all cars have "roo bars", which are big, three inch pipe racks on the front so you don't demolish your car when they hop in front of you. Never seen a Koala in the wild, but they have claws too. Wombats are like wolverines. In Queensland, they have these funky birds called cassowaries, that look like someone glued a rhino horn on an emu. These birds are very territorial and will knock you down before disembolling you with their claws. Oh, I guess theirs crocs and sharks too, but I didn't hang out much on the coastal rivers.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:45 pm | Edited by: Shaun A
 
Uhhhh! Thats fucked up! The zombie wasps thing
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:48 pm
 
weird lizard things
That's right! They also have the lizards that flange out their necks and chase you, too! And the giant toads that'll make you hallucinate!
Austrailia Rules.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:50 pm
 
They should introduce predators like wolves and eagles and stuff, that'd make it safer. Mongooses, giant rats, giant birds that eat spiders, warthogs, lions. I can't think of anymore animals but there's probably hundreds they can use.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:55 pm
 
giant toads

Cane Toads. I was on a vacation up in Queensland and they have, for the tourists of course, bars that have cane toad races. Basically pick out your toad, stick them in a bucket, bang bucket with spoon and then dump them on a table and chase them to some predetermined finish line with those party favor things that curl out. Oh, and then buy a cane toad wallet to go with your roo ball sack purse.

They should introduce predators
Um, I think that's, historically, how they had so much trouble with rabbits/dingos/cane toads/etc.

Supposedly, a friend of mine tells me, they seeded a bunch of islands along the northern coasts with goats back during WWII so that stranded pilots and seamen could have a food source. Apparently, many of the islands are over run with goats. The Navy, now, occasionally goes out on maneuvers and "thins" the population.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:56 pm
 
"thins" the population

From the boat, that is.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 5:58 pm
 
Man, fuck spiders. WE GOT GOATS IN THE HOUSE!!!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:00 pm
 
Goats take up way more room as well. Just a few, maybe five or six could render a living room unusable. Or definately cramped
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:02 pm
 
Not to mention, they would completely destroy my tin can collection.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:02 pm
 
"Big wolf spiders come in the house this time of year. Other big ones with tiger-striped bellies like to spin webs across the sliding door.
If I'm not careful taking the trash out, I'll put my face right into one. Seriously creepy shit. "

I bet those spiders are thinking...."If we pull this off, we'll eat like KINGS!"
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:13 pm
 
Where my dad lives, and where I used to live is on the edge of a huge expanse of pretty much nothingness. Every summer it would catch fire and hundreds of these little fuckers would turn up in the house http://www.biolib.cz/IMG/GAL/109.jpg
and they are fast! and some are too big to get in a beer glass. Then the Adders would show up in the yard as we never cut the grass. One showed up the engine compartment of the old car we have in there when I went rummaging for spare parts. At first I didn't know what the fuck it was, I thought some part of the car was moving. It's not as bad as goats though
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:14 pm
 
Killing spiders is bad luck....

The way I see it- if the fuckers are stupid enough to be visible in my house- they NEED to be cleaned out of the spider gene pool. Can't handle spiders indoors- severe arachnophobia.
I've used the sticky traps- only really work on certain kinds of spiders (hobo spiders, I think?- smaller leggier types). Those wolf spiders are too big to be slowed down by sticky paper. I've always had luck going the toxic poison route. Spray that shit in every corner of every room of your house (especially the moulding- top & bottom & around all windows) & you'll notice a definite decrease in spider activity. The only draw back- it only seems to work for about 3-6 months.
Also- mercilessly kill any spider sighted. Isn't there supposed to be like 30 spiders you don't see for every one that you do? *shudder* And I've heard that the average person swallows atleast 3-4 spiders a year in their sleep. Don't sleep with your mouth open!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:16 pm
 
I used to kill goats all the time and leave them on the front doorstep as an example to the others.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:16 pm
 
Did I say goats?

I meant bugs.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:19 pm
 
How do you all feel about ants? I used to live in south Texas and we were always getting over run by scorpions and sow bugs and would go outside to the breezeway only to fight with the fire ants. I hate ants. Especially flying ants. I have this childhood memory of walking barefoot through our laundry room one night, feeling something, flipping on the light and seeing the floor covered with flying ants. I had to sleep in the garage for a week after that.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:21 pm
 
Texas = Fire Ants
Fire Ants = Suck
Texas does not = Sucks, though.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:21 pm
 
I was watching 'Earth Vs the Spider ' with my friend who studied biology once and he said that spiders couldn't possibly grow that big. They'd be too heavy and wouldn't be able to walk. he said the ones in '8-Legged freaks' even though they're smaller wouldn't be able to exist as well. Which is good to know.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:22 pm
 
Texas does not = Sucks, though.

South Texas = Suck
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:23 pm
 
San Antonio is cool. That's South Texas, ain't it?
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:23 pm
 
There's no way I could sleep at night knowing some huge fucking spiders are in my house. GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:26 pm
 
I am far more concerned by the "Night of the Lepus" scenario.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:26 pm
 
Every once in a blue moon, I find these really weird looking bugs in my sink. I have no idea what the hell they are but they look like something from a sci-fi movie. They are segmented, look like they have a hard, shiny exoskeleton and are either a pale yellow or red in color - the stuff of nightmares. They don't have pinchers and are not roaches. I think they have weird segmented antennae too, if that's possible.

Here's one more fun thing for you. Another friend of mine was stationed in Egypt and he said these spiders were everywhere. Camel spiders. Yeesh!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:30 pm
 
My brother sent me some pictures of Camel Spiders when he was in Iraq. And some crazy looking lizards. Oh, and he managed to go fishing when he was there.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:31 pm
 
Isn't there a species of spider that can catch fish?
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:33 pm
 
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:33 pm
 
Yeah, but I think they live in the Amazon, or something.


OOOH! That reminds me!

Electric Eels vs. Piranahs
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 6:40 pm
 
~bray~

This is so cool because they have that thing I couldn't ID in the sink. It's a springtail. Thanks!
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 7:25 pm
 
They also have the lizards that flange out their necks and chase you, too!

Frilled lizards! They've been captive bred into the pet trade; still illegal in MA where I live, but legal in NH and RI. I've held a few of them. You can sometimes make the babies frill by holding up a lightbulb 'cuz it's shaped like a snake's head (that's the instinct kicking in). They also can bipedel, which looks frickin' hilarious.

We used to have a bearded dragon. They're Aussie too. Really cool lizards. My husband had him (Velcro) for 9 years.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 7:31 pm | Edited by: AndreaH
 
these are the only things that ever make me scream:

http://bugguide.net/node/view/33984/bgpage

they run across our ceiling sometimes, or they'll be in the bathroom. they just give me the creeps.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 8:40 pm
 
I heard those weird spiders from Iraq infested Las Vegas when they built that "Egyptian" casino. The palm trees were imported from over there and they were full of those spiders.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 9:08 pm
 
what the ones that eat peoples faces while they're sleeping?
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 9:23 pm
 
tweedle bug vs. doozer

critter vs. varmit

wollybooger vs. whippersnapper
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 9:51 pm
 
I have read that the unusual flora/fauna of Australia is due to it breaking so early from Pangea??

I hate spiters, are those wolf spiders the big furry ones that look like something from a horror movie? They have those in the Oxark Mts, and they sun themselves on the road.

-arachnophobia- scariest movie ever.

Black widows and Brown Recluses - both very poisonous, can kill kids and cause severe problems in adults. The poison kills the tissue (makes it become necrotic), so people will lose toes, or fingers, or large chunk of skin. I think Earles lerned this the really sucky way.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 9:54 pm
 
yeah, it's actually the smaller ones that can really fuck you up. Yeah, the wolf spiders are hairy. But don't worry, if they bite you, the left side of your face just goes numb for a day or two.
Posted: Mar 31, 2006 10:00 pm
 
i have always disliked those yellow and black jumping spders, they will leave you with a wallop.
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