Posted: Mar 30, 2006 5:54 pm
УTHE LOCH NESS MONSTERФ
One partner defecates in the toilet, doesnТt flush, and then forces their partnerТs head down into the water.
УWEEKEND IN THE DESERTФ
The male has sexual intercourse with his partnerТs armpit.
УTHE MONKEY GRIPФ
The first partnerТs toes are wrapped around the second partnerТs penis like a monkey gripping a banana with its feet, resulting in a delightful Уfootjob.Ф
УTHE CHEESE DANISHФ
The male squirts his semen into his partnerТs ear.
УTHE CALIFORNIA BRUSH FIREФ
Holding a lit match to their own anus, the first partner breaks wind, scorching the second partnerТs pubic hair.
УTHE THIRD RAILФ
At the moment of climax, one partner grabs the otherТs hand, forcing their finger into an electrical socket.
УTHE SONIC BOOMФ
Upon reaching orgasm, one partner screams into the otherТs ear as loudly as they can manage.
УTHE SKEET SHOOTERФ
The male partner masturbates while standing two feet in front of his female partner, who kneels on the floor, topless. He tries to hit both of her nipples with his cum.
УTHE CHIMNEY SWEEPФ
Sexual intercourse while both partners have toothbrushes inserted bristle-side-up into their rectums.
УTHE OLD FAITHFULФ
While having sex, one partner delivers a sharp, unexpected punch to the otherТs stomach, causing them to vomit.
УTHE KENTUCKY DERBYФ
A woman lies naked on her back, holding one fried-chicken drumstick in her mouth and one between her legs. The neighborhoodТs stray dogs are then let into her room, whereupon they run around her excitedly.
УTHE DEADBEAT DADФ
In the middle of lovemaking, the male dismounts, gets dressed, leaves, and never calls the woman again.
A group of men climax in turn over the face and/or body of a woman, who obsessively cleans up every trace of ejaculate before the next partner approaches.
California table grapes are used to fill the female's orifices. On the East Coast, The Chavez is strictly male-on-male.
Prior to coitus, the male uses a tiny funnel to pack his urethra with instant coffee, and the female gives herself an enema with a liter of piping hot water. Anal sex ensues, and coffee follows shortly after.
"SAILING FOR THE NORTH HARBOR"
The male inserts his penis into several fleshy folds on a morbidly obese woman's abdomen, seeking her navel, into which he ejaculates.
"A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT"
While two people are fucking, a third party urinates into the space between their pressed-together chests.
A morbidly obese man uses his man-teat to stimualte a woman's clitoris.
"MARCH OF THE PENGUINS"
With pants around the ankles, a man is made to stagger forward through his house or apartment by a woman stimulating his prostate with her finger.
One person shits, pisses, pukes and ejaculates all over their partner, then waits five hours to bring them a washcloth.
"GELDING THE LILY"
Rubber bands are applied at the base of the scrotum, and a team of six prostitutes labors night and day in shifts until climax is achieved and the severed balls fall heavily to the ground.
As partners reach simultaneous orgasm, they uncork and let champagne rocket up their asses.
"THE RED DWARF"
A male pushs his fist into his menstrating partner while clutching (in his fist hand) a wad of Silly Putty, which he leaves up in there. With her bottle cap opening Kegel muscles, she pushes the putty out. Male grabs a still camera and shoot a stop motion short of the bloody blob.
"THE COLON POW!"
Male packs a condom tightly with several packets of Pop Rocks until firm. He insert the condom into his partner's ass all the way. Use the back end of a wooden spoon if necessary to force it as high up into the rectum as possible and let's it simmer.
That's when a girl gives you a blowjob while you are taking a shit.