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Goner Message Board / ???? / Scarlett Johansson isn't hot.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 6:52 pm
I wish TV would stop making so much outta this bitch. She isn't hot. Her face is fuckin' ugly as fuck. I don't like the way she speaks. She's playing parts in movies where she's way to young to be believable. Hope she dies and quick.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 7:19 pm
So what's your idea of "hot" so we know what we're dealing with here.......Blind maybe?Perhaps confused as to which one is scarlett, gay, or probably just have bad taste in women. I personally like the "horse face"!! NAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 7:33 pm
So you think Jennifer Aniston and Sarah Jessica Parker are hot??? Scarlett kinda has a horse face too but at least hers has some fat on it to flesh it out. I think Scarlett is OK as long as you don't have to hear her interviewed; her youth combined with level of pretention is pretty annoying.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 7:47 pm
Super hot.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 7:50 pm
Is she pretentious? I've never heard her interviewed or anything, but I've always thought for some reason that she was pretty down to earth. I don't have anything to back that up or anything. I think she's really beautiful.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:00 pm
Eh, she's getting pretty typically LA, which is unfortunate cos she was really down to earth a few years back. She is no Lindsey Lohan (who is now demanding people refer to her as a "serious actress") but yeah, Scarlett can come off a bit snooty.

But I think she is good-looking, though not the most good looking of the young lot of Hollywood tarts. That would be Camilla Belle.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:03 pm
I'm not familiar with Camilla Belle. I think. . . shit. . . uh, Rachel Adams? is that right? The one from The Notebook? She's beautiful, too.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:04 pm
Super NOT HOT! Boring and mildly down-syndromey.

Natalie Portman is hot. Gilmore Girl is hot. Salma Hayeck is hot. Ghetto Ways are hot. Rat Traps are hot. Patricia Arquette is hot. Miss Alex White is hot.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:08 pm
I'm no lezbo, but in "Match Point" she was totally sexy, and I couldn't help but oogle a bit.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:12 pm
I AM a lezbo and I'd go down on h...aw fuck it...I'm really tired today
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:20 pm
I don't agree, neither does Dana. Did you see her dress at the Golden Globes? Definitely hot. I also respect most of her choices for roles. She seems like she might actually have a brain, which is unusual in Hollywood circles.

Meanwhile, what kinda chick you got hangin' 'round your dead ass? (Probably none, let alone a hot one.)
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:25 pm
I always make sure I'm prepared in case I get asked out by an Hollywood actress. With Scarley Johansen, I'd take her to Pizza Hut and conveniently forget my wallet so she'd have to pay. Then I'd apologise and make up for it by asking her out again. But this time I'd pretend I'd got mugged on the way. And I'd tell her the hospital bill was $6000. On a third date I'd consider holding her hand and telling her how good she is at acting but my paycheck hadn't arrived that week so I was a little short on cash. The 4th date would be more casual, maybe a trip to the zoo where I'd buy her a huge toy panda but when looking through my pockets I'd notice my wallet had been stolen. I'll work on the 5th date when I get there
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:27 pm
No, the 5th would be a round the world romantic trip for two aboard the QE2. As the ship pulled out of the quayside, I'd notice I'd left my wallet at home and I'd pay her back for any expenses as soon as we got back in three months time.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:27 pm
scarrllett johaanssonn has one speed as an actress. the tone of her voice doesn't fluctuate very much and when it does it seems forced. i don't know why she gets so much attention. boyish, pompous, horrible smile. good body though.

she's no kelli garner. that girl is insane and hot.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:31 pm
after the golden globes, i can think of two things i really, really, really like about scarlett johansson. i haven't got around to looking at her face yet.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:36 pm
Older, not a starlet, but hot as hell: Rachel Weisz.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 8:42 pm
Rachel Weisz is HOT!!!
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:04 pm
she's ok looking. i don't think she's that terrific of an actress. she's more monotonous and flat and slightly boring. nothing overly passionate about her, which is something i consider to be more hot. i'm more for people who hold a bit of mystery to them, a little exoticness, and of course, intelligence. johannssen holds the intellect, but the rest just isn't there, which makes her only so-so on my scale of hotness.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:07 pm
That is why Rachel Weisz is so hot. She is crackling and beautiful and a little crazy. And definitely smart.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:11 pm
Scarlett Johansen is HOT! And don't you forget it. Ms Johansn is what we're talking about here. Not Rachel Weisz, not Jenifer Anniston, and certainly not that Sarah Jessica Parker bitch.I don't give a damn about what Scarlett acts like because I'll never meet her. Hooray for Horse face!
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:11 pm
Rachel Weisz is HOT!!!

in such a classy way too
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:15 pm
Scarlet Johansen, not Rachel Weisz.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:16 pm
I like the Scarlet Pumpernickel starring Daffy Duck.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:19 pm
Kate Moenning. Hot. Sorry to stray, miss linda.

(I have wasted SO much time here today)
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:27 pm
I give super credit to any actress that has not had plastic surgery. If I think an actress is pretty, then I find out she had had all kinds of work to make her that way, it really makes them less attractive. For example: Hallie Berry, Catherine Zeta Jones, and Vivica Fox- so sad really
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:28 pm
Ruth Buzzy.Hot!
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:36 pm
It's pretty fucked up that those gross collagen-injected greasy sausage lips have become the norm in hollywood for actresses over 28 years old. it looks like shit! i just don't get it. same goes for botox.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:39 pm
The last woman on TV/moms who I found really sexy was that woman who played the stipper/whore mom on "Carnivale." Even if you don't like the larger ladies, you gotta admit she just exuded sexiness. Good actor, too.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:48 pm
Scarlett Johanson = Hot
Sarah Jessica Parker = Face-Punchingly Ugly and Equally Annoying
Randy Knuckles = The Name of Some Guy I Just Talked To
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:51 pm
Scarlett is pretty as hell, but not really HOT. Sara Silverman is hot,sexy, pretty and Jewish..she all that, and some Bling Bling...
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 9:55 pm
oh yeah. i like sarah silverman too. mmmmm.

and i assume *everyone* in hollywood has had some type of botox, plastic surgery or lipsuction done until i hear otherwise.

thankfully, scarlett's golden globes are obviously real.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 10:04 pm
the shot of her ass in those see-through panties at the beginning of lost in translation was like a beautiful sunset. she's hot as hell.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 10:19 pm
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 10:35 pm
Scarlett is pretty as hell, but not really HOT

yeah, she's like classic/classy beauty. She looks right out of the 1940s or something. To me, anyway.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 10:38 pm
and I swore up and down that she was pregnant while filming lost in translation, but then later learned/realzied she just had a little belly. and bellys rule!

i feel like i'm thinking too hard about all of this.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 10:46 pm
I think she's nice looking but the voice is a turn-off.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 10:58 pm
Sara Silverman is hot,sexy, pretty and Jewish..she all that, and some Bling Bling...

Hell yeah! If the girls in my Hebrew school were like her, I might not have started dating shiksas.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 11:13 pm
Definitely very hot.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 11:36 pm
Yeah, Sarah Silverman is hot and all, but she's dating the biggest douchebag in the world: JIMMY KIMMEL!!!!

Minus 50 hot points.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 11:37 pm
Yeah, Sarah Silverman is hot and all, but she's dating the biggest douchebag in the world: JIMMY KIMMEL!!!!

So true. I don't get that at all. He's so lame and unfunny. He must be packing some serious heat downstairs.
Posted: Feb 23, 2006 11:44 pm
Bea Arthur HOT!...okay maybe just her penis.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 4:16 am
scarlett is so fucking hot that everyone who don't dig her beauty is automatically gay. i was forced to watch the horsefucker whemn it came out and then already i worshipped the "scarlett grow up and show us your little pussy in a movie" altar. scarlet is the ramones of cunt. now fuck yourself because I AM THE PENIS HERE.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 9:42 am
scarlett is hot, but not all that. first time i saw her was in ghost world and always thought thora birch was way hotter.

elisha cuthbert, now theres a fucking HOTTIE!!!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 11:16 am
elisha cuthbert

well said, here here
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 11:48 am
I don't like the way she speaks.
she speaks????!!?

and ya, she is hot
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 4:35 pm
While I think Scarlett is certainly attractive and I appreciate the curves, she is such deadassweight. She has no energy as an actress. Whoever up there said she is a "one trick pony" is right. You can really tell it when she tries to go one octave above deadpan--it gets pretty embarrassing. I don't think she will age well, but few actresses are these days with the plastic surgery machines ripping them up and injecting them with those gawdawful lips.

I saw Cache and it was really great to see Juliette Binoche--once a total fox--still look foxy in that middle aged way...au natural.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 5:19 pm
She is hot.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 5:21 pm
I have no speakers on my work computer, so yeah, a silent SJ is hot.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 6:21 pm
I got pretty pissed when I found out Sarah Silverman is sexin' up that Jimmy Kimmel motherfucker. I Hate that guy,and the whole thing makes me SICK. I cant even bare to look at her any more!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 6:23 pm
Ah, I can see where the two of them (SS and JK) are hot for each other.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 6:28 pm
Elisha Cuthbert WAS hot, in the first season of 24... but then you find out she's really a Canadian and she's a stone dumbshit. Kinda ruined the dream for me.

Plus, she's too "athletic" looking. Boo for ladies with visible ab muscles.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 6:58 pm | Edited by: Bam Caruso
eah, she's like classic/classy beauty. She looks right out of the 1940s or something. To me, anyway.

I agree. Not jackoffably sexy, but would make a great arm-charm for toolin' around LA and scamming free food and booze, crashing afternoon lawn parties in the Hills, and for date-bait so you can hit it and and quit it with your intended target: Rachel McAdams, who would only be sexier if she was also a typical Jewish Rachel.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 7:03 pm
Elisha Cuthbert was really hot in "The Girl Next Door".
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 7:06 pm
you guys are crazy, Scarlett is smoking!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 7:08 pm
I think there may be a blonde vs. brunette thing going on. I prefer men, but I tend to think brunette women are more sexy and interesting.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 7:41 pm
You should bleach your hair Kristen,& be more like MISS LINDA & THE LOVELY , TALENTED, AND INCREDIBLY "HOT" MS. SCARLETT JOHANSEN!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 7:42 pm
It is bleaching on its own. Half the shit is WHITE.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 7:45 pm
I forgot. It's been over 2 years since I've seen you.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 7:58 pm | Edited by: Uptight White
brunette women are more sexy and interesting

The blonde allure eludes me, despite being the gold standard. There is something dirty and mysterious about the brunettes. It's a Gypsy slavegirl kinda hot.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:02 pm
something dirty
WTF? how are brunettes dirty?
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:03 pm
Red heads are where its at.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:04 pm
If I had Scarlett Johansson's face...

I'd pick it and grow a scab.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:04 pm
I know. I have always heard this too. I always try to flip it into "interesting". But "dirty"? Ugh. I ain't dirty. But then again I am only half-brunette and the rest is white, so what that makes me, I dunno. Some sort of oreo cookie head.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:04 pm
If my dog had Scarlett Johansson's face...

I'd shave it's ass and teach it to walk backward!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:05 pm
Real redheads are where it is at. I hate a fake red.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:05 pm
Scarlett Johansson doesn't have a face...

her neck threw up!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:06 pm
Red heads are where its at.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:06 pm
When Scarlett Johansson was born the doctor took one look at her face...

and slapped her mother!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:08 pm
When Scarlett Johansson was born ...

Her mother said, "Oh, What a Treasure!"

and her Dad said, "Yeah, Let's bury it!"
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:14 pm
Oreo cookie heads are where it's at.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:21 pm
I am sure you are rocking the oreo cookie head a bit yourself these days, true?

(It is fucking rad.)
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:23 pm
True, true.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:29 pm
Dudes- Oreo cookie heads are H-O-TT! Mostly just on chicks, though. I'm starting to get a little grey myself, and it's kinda distressing. I'm only 25!!!!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:43 pm
But "dirty"?

"Dirty" as in highly sexual, and knowing what to do in bed. Raven haired women are the sexy, bad girl archetype (Jayne Russell, Betty Page, Julie Newmar, etc.).
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:49 pm
WTF? how are brunettes dirty?

The sexy evil twin is always brunette. Just check out "Bewitched" and "I Dream of Jeannie."
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 8:58 pm
Speaking of hair, what happened to that 70's show girl? I saw she went from red to blonde. Bad move.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 9:04 pm
OHH yeah, i hope she changes that back, she is a hot red head

I think you have to be the right kind of red head to pull it off and look hot. And sorry if there are any red headed guys out there, but i have never seen a hot red headed guy, gross.

and most blond guys are gross too, i prefer the dark and handsome type
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 9:15 pm
i must say, this is a way better thread than whether or not the black lips sold out!!!

donna from 70's show is super hot, red or blonde!
scarlett j is hot!

what about all these rocker chicks?
little killers?
cheetie from cherry valence?
the nagg?
crimson sweet?
there's so many!!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 10:16 pm
this girl makes me want to vomit, how is she a model ??

lily cole

http://www.handbag.com/galleries/gallery/celeb_style/celebrity_hair/be auty_redheads/MemberID=2/
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 10:23 pm
lily cole

I think bees stung her face.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 10:27 pm
She's a model cos she looks like a total freak and she is likely 5'10" and has not body fat.

I agree that only certain redhead girls look truly "hot"--Donna on 70's show is one of them. I really cannot stand the bad red dye jobs. It looks like shiny rust. I like freckly redheads too.

But again, in this gurl's world, brunettes rule. And oreo cookie heads. Any shade of brunette. You can be a dirty blonde like my husband and I'll let you in cos he has hazel eyes and a sweet mouth and he's in!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 10:32 pm
And going back a bit, I recently saw Ghost World again and Thora Birch kicked Scarlett Johannson's ass. I know Scarlett was still developing but Thora was just leaps and bounds the better actress and tres hot, even with her bad bangs and dumb glasses.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 10:34 pm
Which one was Enid? I saw the other one on some talk show and she was the dumbest cunt ever.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 10:38 pm
Enid was Thora Birch.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 10:51 pm | Edited by: cthort
Thora was hot in Monkey Trouble. With Keitel as a gypsy! "C'mere you little monkey!" Oh, wait. She was only eleven.
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 11:07 pm
All Yall Oreo Cookie Heads: need to wear a blond wig, like miss linda do. I think it makes me look glamorous and cheap. The gay girls LOVE IT!
Posted: Feb 24, 2006 11:10 pm
Bring an extra to the Sons of Thundarr show.
Posted: Feb 25, 2006 5:21 pm
Are we going backward?
Posted: Feb 25, 2006 7:05 pm
That girl at the Pure Country Gold show was way hot!

Help me out guys (unless she's your girlfriend- in which case I'll say it again... you must be rich!)
Posted: Feb 25, 2006 8:54 pm
And sorry if there are any red headed guys out there, but i have never seen a hot red headed guy, gross.

Josh Homme is pretty hot.
Posted: Feb 25, 2006 8:59 pm
but I tend to think brunette women are more sexy and interesting.

i agree. i just don't get the whole blond thing. my dad is way into blonds and i just don't see how come. ugh.
Posted: Feb 25, 2006 11:53 pm
Cos blondes know how to play men like a guitar and have no shame about it and brunettes are too full of pride!!!!

I don't find them at all attractive unless they have that natural blonde, super healthy thing going on and then, I can see where it would work. I think guys are much less critical of women than women are! They like pretty much anything!
Posted: Feb 26, 2006 2:44 am
Josh Homme
From Kyuss?

You know who's totally hot? Fran Dresher.

And that crazy Jennifer Tilly.
Posted: Feb 26, 2006 3:44 am
Sambeaux--you are having post-partum depression.
Posted: Feb 26, 2006 3:47 am
Wearing Miss Linda's wig gave you the Drescher syndrome.
Posted: Feb 26, 2006 3:53 am
Smart boys do yourselves a favor and check out Sundays NY Times and the Rachel Weisz photos:

http://nytimes.com/2006/02/26/style/tmagazine/t_w_1053_1055_rachel_.ht ml?hp&ex=1140930000&en=4420cc41a819551a&ei=5094&partner=homepage
Posted: Feb 26, 2006 6:35 am
From Kyuss?
Uh huh. Hot redhead. I also like his largeness.
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