Posted: Jul 28, 2006 11:20 am
I'm walking down a causeway in Dunedin, Florida. Probably a mile long. Hot as fuck outside, mid-afternoon, summer.
1/4 of the way there, I realize I got the liquid shits coming for a visit. Rather than turn back and go home, I decide to hike to the end of the causeway, where I (incorrectly) assume I will make it to a bathroom.
There is no bathroom on the causeway.
I make it back almost to the edge of the causeway, after a journey all the way to the end and back. I'm about to explode the whole time. Finally, it just comes out. I grin and bear it. I figure I'm almost home, and if some old lady smells or sees shit coming out of my shorts, it's not the end of the world. I just said "please God, don't let any hot chicks walk past me while I'm simmering in my own waste."
I look up about 40 seconds later. Two blondes in swimsuits walking towards me with picinic baskets in their hands.