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MOTO
Posted: Sep 2, 2003 7:51 am
 
Hey, any of you sad pathetic apologetic fuckmouths need advice on anything from sex, death, drinking, or Goubler? Then ask me! MOTO! I've got all the fucking answers! Axe me now BRA!!!!
Your life needs improving and I'm the Improvenator!

Boffing your teenage daughter always in the graveyard of your skull,

Me!

Conrad McMasters
Posted: Sep 3, 2003 5:59 pm
 
I am a black man trapped in a white man's body...what should i do?
Andrew Earles
Posted: Sep 3, 2003 6:41 pm
 
Make bad music.
Chris Alienator
Posted: Sep 3, 2003 10:17 pm
 
that's nothing a swedish penis enlarger can't fix...(or any number of european made creams, made out of ingredients found only in the rain forest)
creepydrifter
Posted: Sep 4, 2003 12:30 am
 
so that's where porn comes from
MOTO
Posted: Sep 4, 2003 10:06 am
 
No, porn comes from Father Goubler and his Altar Boys. Hope that answers all your questions.
MOTO
Posted: Sep 4, 2003 10:06 am
 
No, porn comes from Father Goubler and his Altar Boys. Hope that answers all your questions.
Chris Alienator
Posted: Sep 4, 2003 10:52 pm
 
I had a black roomate once who wayed about 350...and I will state that his dick was pretty much proportional to the rest of his body!

Now he's a security guard at the Georgia Dome...he fucking loves it, Atlanta is the perfect speed for a po' country black boy.

Goubler
Posted: Sep 5, 2003 12:01 am
 
...just call me BARRY GLITTER.
MOTO
Posted: Sep 5, 2003 9:33 am
 
I'm just solving problems left & right here. Who's next? C'mon, you fuckers need help!

The Problem Solvenator!

By the way, the new M.O.T.O. CD (titled KILL MOTO) is now out on Criminal IQ Records, wherever fine stuff is solded!

Chow,

JET MOTO ROCK

MOTO
Posted: Apr 18, 2004 9:22 pm
 
Axe me now - I'm even wiser than I was before!

SLADE's 1975 movie IN FLAME is now out on DVD in the US for the first time on SHOUT. Also their first greatest hits CD in the US, called GET YER BOOTS ON.

I'm kind of a SLADE fan, case ya cooden tell.

dutch hercules
Posted: Apr 19, 2004 9:03 am
 
im gonna haffta get inta slade. and GODZ.
ledisquairebazookajoe
Posted: Apr 19, 2004 6:22 pm
 
My ?: whre did those dope ass jumpsuits from the IN FLAME LP cover come from?
Blackie
Posted: Apr 19, 2004 10:24 pm
 
I need a girl. How do I get one? I fall for the wrong ones all the time.
Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 20, 2004 3:05 am
 
What is this doing on the "Upcoming Shows" section?

OK,you don't have to answer that one! Whatever happened to... Chris Alienator?

Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 20, 2004 3:05 am
 
What is this doing on the "Upcoming Shows" section?

OK,you don't have to answer that one! Whatever happened to... Chris Alienator?

Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 20, 2004 3:06 am
 
Oh,and why does this piece-of-shit computer post everything i type on it twice?
PCPeePee
Posted: Apr 20, 2004 3:59 am
 
yeah, i actually miss the Alienator spice.
whaaaHappenn?
maybe everyone was just too sensitive.
Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 20, 2004 8:10 am
 
There's some guy on the distortionfuzzetc. thread in ???? that claims he's the real Chris Alienator...be careful what we wish for!
Magic Juan
Posted: Apr 20, 2004 9:02 pm
 
I ate Alientaor for lunch and dinner in February. His feet were really tough and had a lot of gristle in them. His eye balls were tender and tasty though.
Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 20, 2004 11:10 pm
 
Magic Juan? The Sock Puppets are back!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
ledisquairebazookajoe
Posted: Apr 20, 2004 11:14 pm
 
Ask MOTO ask HGD... it's all a sham. They ain't answered no stinkin' questions yet! gimme a loaf of bread and a hunk o' cheese and a coke. I'm bored...
Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 21, 2004 12:50 am
 
When the PC's up and running again at my new house i'll be answering questions,foo'! Just holdyer dadgum Horses!

And that's "Sock Puppets" as in Alienator's Sock Puppet Alter Egos,of which i think Magic Juan is one.Does this mean he's back?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

buck wilders
Posted: Apr 21, 2004 3:05 am
 
After someone's question,you should begin each answer with "Ready...Aim..."
Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 21, 2004 8:00 am
 
Huh?
Blackie
Posted: Apr 21, 2004 8:35 pm
 
ready aim is how MOTO starts their songs
Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 22, 2004 12:09 am
 
D'oh! Yer right!

I leave thread in shame now...

MOTO
Posted: Apr 23, 2004 10:32 am
 
Another problem solved!
Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 24, 2004 6:37 am
 
...or not! What's that sposed to mean,hah?
gorillasuit
Posted: Apr 24, 2004 10:32 pm
 
question: how do I get my hair to look like Caporino's?

Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 24, 2004 10:37 pm
 
Really-are you pissed off at me or something? Am i even the "problem"? Not getting that post-if i did something to piss you off i'm really sorry,but i don't know what i did if anything!
Human Garbage Disposal
Posted: Apr 24, 2004 10:38 pm
 
Just another sad apologetic fuckmouth loking for answers.
Goubler
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 1:47 am
 
caporino should wash the dye out, and let the grey shine....he's got a full head of hair,who cares if it's turning white?
TraciTrouble
Posted: Apr 27, 2004 11:23 pm
 
Paulie, what's the best way to get rid of a guy who only wants to cuddle, dump all of his problems on me, and fall asleep without fucking me? Besides telling him to get out so I can jerk off.
GimmeSopor
Posted: Apr 28, 2004 4:34 pm
 
I still want to know:

1) Do you want to take a walk?
2) Can I hold your hand?
and
3) Does this ever actually work for you?

dutch hercules
Posted: Apr 29, 2004 9:23 am
 
how do you get rid of bats?
Dude von Dude
Posted: Apr 29, 2004 8:19 pm
 
How come the chorus to that "Catamarange" (I don't know how it's spelled) song sounds like the chorus to "Saturday Night" by the Bay City Rollers?
MOTO
Posted: May 4, 2004 8:53 pm
 
You don't get rid of bats. You WANT bats - they eat bugs and they almost never bite humans.

Another problem solved. Next!

MOTO
Posted: May 4, 2004 8:57 pm
 
Dear Tracie,

Just say what I say to everyone who hangs around after the show without buying anything - "Fuck me or get out!"

MOTO
Posted: May 4, 2004 9:01 pm
 
Hey Trace,

Have I introduced you to Goublersleeve? He's a danger-loving kinda guy (everybody wants to kill him on the Goner Board) with an allegedly huge schlong (I know two girls who've been close to him in the past who've remarked on his crankage) - and one girl also said that he goes down as good as a lesbian.

TraciTrouble
Posted: May 6, 2004 12:00 am
 
No I have not met Goublersleeve. Does he live in Chicago? Will he take sloppy seconds? I'm having a freshly fucked Wednesday.
MOTO
Posted: May 6, 2004 8:52 am
 
Hmmmm - can I give Goublersleeve your e-mail?
TraciTrouble
Posted: May 6, 2004 7:10 pm
 
Have you gone from being a total pervert to becoming some kind of pimp now?
MOTO
Posted: May 7, 2004 2:20 am
 
Pimps are perverts - they force women into sexual slavery.

Whereas I just like sex in all forms! I'm a healthy guy!

Goubler
Posted: May 13, 2004 6:33 am
 
...and I've gotten romantic advice from someone who married Louie!!
EEEEEyesssssss??
Oh,YYYYEssssssss!!!!
MOTO
Posted: May 13, 2004 10:08 pm
 
I thought you had sex with someone who married Louie.
MOTO
Posted: May 14, 2004 1:02 am
 
!
MOTO
Posted: Jun 12, 2004 3:16 am
 
To the black guy trapped in a white man's body: just pull your cock out.
chuckvicious
Posted: Jun 12, 2004 11:59 am
 
HAVE ANY OF YOU HEARD FROM RACHEL FROM MEMPHIS/NORTH MISSISSIPPI, WHOM MOVED TO CANADA? IF SO PLEASE TELL HER I SAID HELLO!
dutch hercules
Posted: Jun 13, 2004 6:25 pm
 
what should "we" do as dignified U.S. citiczens, about the over rated Dr. Phil? Kill him, love him, throw shit on him, throw flowers..???
MOTO
Posted: Jun 15, 2004 12:40 pm
 
Get rid of Bush first, then take care of Dr. Phil
MOTO
Posted: Jun 17, 2004 10:26 am
 
M.O.T.O. stuff for sale - a money-hungry grab!
We're trying to scarf up money for our European tour in October - soooooo here's stuff for sale!

hi folks,

I have M.O.T.O. stuff for sale here:

M.O.T.O. T-SHIRTS - all sizes (including snug-fitting Girlie-T's - a-rooooo!!!!) - mostly Black or White - $10 US
Pick from four (4) designs:
1) MOTO Classic Lightning Bolt logo
2) MOTOSKULL
3) E PLURIBUS MOTO (motoskull in red circle)
4) KILL MOTO (My Face)

Also MOTO cloth patches for $1 - MOTO Lightning Bolt, E Pluribus MOTO or MOTOSKULL
*************************************************************

*KILL MOTO cd (Criminal IQ) - $10 (shrink-wrapped and everything) - includes the hits "Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance To The Radio", "The Chicks Can Tell", "We Are The Rats", "I Hate My Fucking Job", "Where's My Money At?" and many more.

(coming soon on Criminal IQ - re-issue of M.O.T.O. SINGLE FILE CD - http://www.criminaliq.com )

*************************************************************
and now....the M.O.T.O. Walgreens re-issue series:

*TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH cd - $5 - first MOTO thing from 1985!
*THIS CORPSE IS A WARNING cd - $5 (now with original lousy "gothic" artwork from the 1990 Resonance release, photocopied by yours truly))
*E PLURIBUS MOTO cd - $5
*ST. JOHN THE BASTARD cd - $5 - (now with more interesting artwork)
*TERRAMOTO cd - $5
*LYONS DEN (live in front of 2003 drunks) cd - $5
*MOTO GOES BACK TO COLLEGE (live in front of 2003 college radio dorks) cd - $5
*************************************************************

M.O.T.O. CASSETTES $3:

1998 - TERRAMOTO

1997 - GANGWAY FOR MIRACLES

1996 - AMPEG STUD

1996 - BANDIT 65

1995 - FLETCHER HENDERSON

1993 - E PLURIBUS M.O.T.O.

1991 - TALK OF M.O.T.O.

1990 - M.O.T.O. MACHINE MUSIC (a.k.a. RADIO BJ)

1989 - 1000 YEARS OF ROCK'N'ROLL

1988 - NEON BONE

1987 - MOTOERECTUS

1987 - QUASIMOTO

1986 - ROCK ROLL & DISMEMBER

1986 - BOLT

1985 - TURN YOUR HEAD AND COUGH
*************************************************************

You can pay through PayPal to MOTOSPAM@yahoo.com - or you can send cash/check/money order to:

Paul Caporino
M.O.T.O.
PO Box 578912
Chicago IL 60657
USA

Thanks and take care,

Paul

Posted: Sep 5, 2006 9:19 am
 
We were so much younger then....
Posted: Aug 1, 2012 8:32 pm
 
Posted: Aug 18, 2012 4:45 pm
 
M.O.T.O. vinyl re-issues - BOLT (1986) & E PLURIBUS MOTO (1993) - out now on Rerun Records:

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------

http://rerunrecordsstl.com/MOTO.html

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------

NEW M.O.T.O. LPs coming soon (on Blast Of Silence Records in Finland):

*PACK YOUR TROUBLES IN DREAMS (recorded 2011 in Australia w/ members of Cosmic Psychos, Spazzys)

*NO SLEEP 'TIL TURKU (recorded 2011-2012 in Finland)

---------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------

Download M.O.T.O. at CDBaby, iTunes, etc.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------

You Can Download M.O.T.O. at CDBaby, iTunes, etc. -------

Download M.O.T.O. at: --------

http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/MOTO - (preferred - and cheapest, I think)------

http://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/m.o.t.o./id137983929?ign-mpt=uo%3D4
--------
http://www.amazon.com/M.O.T.O./e/B001LH7XH4/ref=ep_artist_tab_glance?_ encoding=UTF8&sn=d
--------
http://www.emusic.com/listen/#/artist/m-o-t-o/11635921/

-----------
http://www.myspace.com/moto/music/albums

------------

Or:-----

Listen to M.O.T.O. for free on Spotify: --- http://open.spotify.com/artist/7pVUNauIgn00u4xieiQN06

----------

Also live dates will be forthcoming --------

Sep 05 - CAMBRIDGE, MA @ Plough & Stars --------
Sep 14 - BROOKS, ME @ Festival Of The Unknown -------

More to come! ---

Thanks again, ---

PS: M.O.T.O. on Reverbnation ---- http://www.reverbnation.com/MOTOPAC

-------- :) ---------

Paul Caporino

M.O.T.O. - Masters Of The Obvious
http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/MOTO
Posted: Sep 28, 2012 7:08 pm
 
Dear MOTO, are you missing a coffee cup prototype with your band name on it? Also, how do you feel about eating raw bacon?
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