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Goner Message Board / Upcoming Shows For Goners Everywhere / Jeff Jensen's BATTLE OF THE BANDS
Posted: Aug 11, 2006 4:25 pm
 
my dream has come true. we're going to battle! i'm not sure who the other bands are, but I know nick ray's in there, endless boogie, and matt sweeney.

fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 26
on the STREET, ainslie (i think), one block above bushwick
booze, food, FREE!

Hosted by none other than Lord Jeffrey Jensen, of infamy and jest beyond my paltry descriptive skills.

And CHECK OUT THE JUDGES!!


a. Shit Happens Rob- A biker legend from the block who's musical tastes veer towards the Classic Rawk and Metal though due to his employment at strip clubs has a surprising knowledge and secret love of modern R&B.

b. Gia- My next door neighbor/tenant. The token hipster judge. She likes it all though seems to have a proclivity for the new Devendra-style bearded hobbit "folk" thing.

c. Dez. A street rapper and leader of the Thirsty Thursday Crew (The guys that stand on my block all day and get wasted while free-styling). Dez pretty much only likes Hip-Hop but he is surprisingly (almost suspiciously) familiar with most Classic Rock and Top-40 from the last few decades.

d. An undetermined old person from Jennings Hall AKA the old folks home across the street from my house. This person will only like Sinatra and will undoubtedly hate your band.

e. Connie. A Mulleted dykey-looking hard-ass from down the block that will strike the fear of god into you. Musical tastes unknown.


COME DOWN!!!!!!
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 2:11 am
 
low down dirt dawgs
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 12:39 pm
 
i know!

jeff's description of the judges means we've got to pull out all the stops. a strip club owner? a bull dyke? an old folk? harry's playing in a thong and cape. i'm contemplating full on nude action. and shane's breaking out the white pleather pants.

i hear crimson sweet is gonna be busting blood for this too.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 6:48 pm
 
harry's playing in a thong and cape

i always knew he was a super hero!
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 7:15 pm
 
i'm contemplating full on nude action.

I guess I'll be needin' another poster.
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 7:54 pm
 
BFFs in the buff!
Posted: Aug 14, 2006 8:13 pm
 
I'm waitin'!
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 4:03 am
 
Still waitin'.
Posted: Aug 16, 2006 4:46 am
 
Still waitin'.

you have another 10 days to wait mister!
Posted: Aug 24, 2006 12:46 pm | Edited by: Jackie Vinyl
 
If anyone needs a hearty laugh on saturday, this is where it can be had.

Ten bands and every band plays covers (no originals, no medlies, no duplicates). There are three rounds to victory. I hear tell someone is busting out Canned Heat--and i think i know who. Besides the boogie, the sweet, sweeney and nick ray mentioned above, we've got dirty and damned curtis brown in the mix, as well as maybe a roger sister or two. Plus doug pressman and jeff jensen battling AGAINST each other.

There are some "rules." My favorite is #5. oh lord.

JENSEN'S RULES

1. You can show up as early as 2 PM. must leave by 10 PM
2. Bring some food to grill and some bevs.
3. If you like to be seated then bring something to sit on (even a blanket)
4. This year I want everyone out on the street not in our yard
5. Without awkwardly forcing it...interact with the locals. The invasion of "Bedford types" is upon my neighbors. This party looks like its going to get kind of huge. So don't be a dick.

ADDRESS:
243 Powers Street, Williamsburg
CORNER OF POWERS AND JUDGE (RIGHT OFF BUSHWICK)

L train to Grand Street
WALK ONE BLOCK NORTH ON BUSHWICK TO POWERS TURN RIGHT

HOUSE COVERED IN IVY



Directly following this, at roughly 7ish, Ghetto Ways are heading to Passout to rock and Endless Boogie are playing the East River Park. All shows are free. Pick yr poison.
Posted: Aug 27, 2006 3:15 am
 
who won?

i'm on the left coast, just sittin here wonderin
Posted: Aug 28, 2006 6:31 am
 
well???
Posted: Aug 28, 2006 10:34 am
 
i'm voting for crimson sweet.
Posted: Aug 28, 2006 1:00 pm
 
we came in SECOND. or as laura said, "you almost won!"

we got through the first round and were 1 of 3 bands selected to re-rock. then we went down in serious flames to a "pro" SUPERGROUP comprised of Doug Pressman on gtr, Curtis Brown on bass (gold glasses, gold chains--but oh yeah, that's what he's wearing nowadays), some rad dude on drums, and then THIS round two ringer: PRINCESS SUPERSTAR. holy shit. she's like some famous NYC club chick. hot! there was no way in HELL we could compete with that. they ripped a hip hop song and she was on her back dryhumping the air, then waving her arms like you just don't care, all boobs and butt and blond locks. they tore it down! they really did. i smell a signing. we're way too punk for that kind of competition.

so the day was magnificent. jeff jensen rules. he MC'd off the cuff for hours. the judges were amazing. some brutal comments were laid out. harry got mass props both rounds, so his head was grotesquely huge on the walk of shame to passout. i got a well articulated "she hot!", by, i think, connie. doug pressman should be renamed doug (im)pressman. there is no better showman in these parts. crimson sweet kicked out a rick springfield jam, with polly slithering all over the camera. (oh yeah, this was filmed.) there were dogs and babies and bikes and free beer and free bbq. unbelievably fun day. we had a blast.
Posted: Aug 28, 2006 6:54 pm
 
and when will this event be availible for all to watch?
Posted: Aug 28, 2006 9:34 pm
 
the rest of the bands must've eaten real shit if the ghettogays made it to the finals...
Posted: Aug 29, 2006 3:30 am
 
ha ha, ghettogays isn't as clever as when Randy from Atlanta called my band the River City Dicklines - and it was actually Black Sunday.

How was the Canned Heat cover...oh shit! Did anyone do Nazereth?
Posted: Aug 29, 2006 12:55 pm
 
canned heat was not delivered, but some dude (he got into the final round too) busted out a uriah heep song, but check this: it was backing track only with him on mic, no band, and serious eye-to-eye crowd contact. really mindblowingly funny. i was like, "what the fuck is THIS?" pressman said he's seen that guy doing that schtick for years. YEARS? jesus. the guy's got something really special worked out.

photos:
me and Major
jeff and the judges
a really nice ass!
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