Posted: May 20, 2006 10:00 pm
yo. some texas ranger pulled us over the other day. we gave him a bag w/some shake in it, and our metal piece that used to belong to john brannon. the ranger came up to the door and said "ok fellas, where's the bong?" and we were like uh....we don't have one honestly...here's our shitty ass pipe made from bronze piping. zach talks to the dude and the ranger asks what kind of music we play; "alternative rock, punk rock....?" and zach says: "i guess more punk rock." and the ranger says back: "you mean like henry rollins?". the dude was cool, though. it didn't seem like he wanted to fuck us. he searched our van, seperated us outside. we had another bag just laying out in the open, another in between the seat cushions, an almost empty gallon of old crow, an almost full bottle of jack, and onother glass one-hitter, but the guy still didn't arrest us. i guess maybe you can mess with texas. i was out front of the van when i heard the unmistakeable sound of a giant, empty, plastic bottle of old crow hitting the grass, and i thought we were fucked, but then when the guy let us go, he fucking threw it back in the van. we have never felt so blessed. zach was talking to him w/o a shirt on, and he had just cut himself in austin with beercan he ripped up, and the ranger asked if he was into self-mutilation. zach just said it gets the fans going. we think we got out of it just because our van is so messy and smelly; which was really the plan all along if we ever got searched. so bands: don't keep your van nice on the inside, but make it nice on the outside; we got pulled over for having "a dirty liscence plate". our whole fucking van looks like something out of mad max. except for the "follow us to hooter's" sticker.