Posted: Aug 29, 2007 7:32 am
here's my friend Drew's (who works at a news station) very funny blog about the whole thing:
things i learned from the john ford trial today.
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
1. if you're a lawyer, and you need to have people come into vouch for a client, PRE-INTERVIEW THEM. There's nothing that makes a jury/judge think your client is an arrogant prick more than putting his friends on the stand to say that in different ways. ways like, "john'll do anything for you, as long as you approach him and give him some compliments first." or "i've known john for 40 years, but our friendly time is all business. He doesn't want to small talk." or "alot of people think he's arrogant, by the way he talks about all the stuff he's done and what kind of suits he wears, but he's really not."
2. having alot of kids to support is not a very good reason to skirt punishment. 7 out of john's 12 are still below 18, with his youngest, john-john, being in pre-school, and the oldest being supported through med school by Ford. no wonder the poor bastard took bribes! shit, i barely have money for 2 kids. i couldn't imagine having to support 10 extra ones. if i had that many kids, i'd ask for prison to get a break from them.
3. when giving an apology for taking bribes and offering a reason why you should be excused, don't say "i trusted too much." Ford must've spent a full half minute on explaining out how the only reason he's in trouble is because he trusted the wrong people. you were convicted of taking bribes, not getting your car stolen by giving the guy your car keys. trusting the wrong people is what got your ass caught, not forced you to take bribes.
4. john ford is an excellent father...for the 11 minutes a day he has left over after making politcal deals and driving around nashville clockin' hoes. that equals out to be around 55 seconds a day for each kid. aparently that's enough. and here i am like a sucker trying to spend as much time as possible with my kids. maybe the secret to being a good father is being away from your kids for the absolute longest amount of time available.
5. john ford's game is crunk tight. even ex's that he'd been screwing around on for 10 years will come around and defend you if your game is golden. learn it-live it.
6. i really want to be courtroom security for the federal courts. those dudes are all over 60 and can't see they're penis' anymore, but they spend the weekends driving harley's and bar-b-qing and their days sitting in a chair directing people through checkpoints and living out early retirement. o, that's the life.