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Goner Message Board / Memphis / WTF? A manatee in the Wolf River!!!
Posted: Oct 23, 2006 11:58 pm | Edited by: Rumpleforeskin
WREG Channel 3 has footage of a manatee that has somehow found it's way up the Mississippi River. http://www.wreg.com/
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 12:10 am
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 12:11 am | Edited by: Jack Stands
Holy sea cow! I just saw that!
Weirderer - One was found up in Canada earlier this year, but it was in sea water.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 12:16 am

This is a big deal. Those manatees are getting way confused. I think one was all the way up in the Hudson River this summer.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 12:25 am
i will never forget today! MANATEE MONDAY!!!!
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 12:27 am

Another funny thing on the news tonight, Dave Brown lead his weather segment with footage from today's ground-breaking ceremony for yet another doppler radar. The man was giddy about it, telling the viewers that their lives would be safer, and this thing was more powerful than any other doppler radar inthe Mid South, and it got better images, and it was faster (sweeps once every ten seconds, he said). But then it was over and he had to do the weather, andhe turned to the screen with disgust, as if to say "unlike this piece of shit here..."

End sidebar
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 12:35 am
love local news. love it.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 1:56 am
Guess what's going on the cover of the next Dutch Masters record!
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 3:10 am
it's not a damn manatee.

it's a whale.

a white whale!
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 3:48 am
love local news. love it.

i love the local commercials even better:

"cory b trotz is the way to go. . . "

and that one dude with all the jerry curl gel but no jerry curl that's in about 3 different commercials. awesome.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 3:59 am
That's pretty neat, but a bit disturbing if it becomes a trend. You know, global warming and all. Makes me think of another animal that I never saw this far north when I was younger--armadillos! jerryd and I saw a bunch in the woods at night when we were camping in MS a couple of weeks ago. I've never seen any that weren't already squished. Weird little critters.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 4:03 am

I've told the story before, but I remember seeing an armadillo run around in circles at the four-way stop of Echles and Spottswood (by the tennis courts of U of M) one night. This was about ten years ago.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 4:40 am
Have you ever seen an armadillo eat a taco?

I hadn't either till Miss Faye put one between her legs in the tent!
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 6:20 am
I've got a premonition this is not gonna turn into a feel good ending. Kinda like the drunk bear a few weeks ago.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 7:30 am
it's a whale.

a white whale!

Attacking a manatee dangling from a helicopter!
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 10:49 am
There was a whale in the River Thames not long ago. I was gonna go down and harpoon the fucker, but I lost interest. You can use http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h238/christopherdavid/whale.jpg as long as you superimpose me onto it.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 2:04 pm
Nahh dude..its been confirmed by the Wildlife folks, its a manatee otherwise referred to as a sea cow.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 3:11 pm
it's not a damn manatee.

Posted: Oct 24, 2006 3:59 pm
This reminds me of the Dr. Katz manatee epsiode. "I've got a question for the Sea Pig. . ." Great stuff.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 5:43 pm
there were great whites cruising down bourbon st during Katrina!
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 8:58 pm
Were they looting?
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 9:20 pm
they dance like this
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 9:22 pm
I know ya wanna
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 9:26 pm
I loves me a manatee. I drive by this every day on my way to work and it makes me smile.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 11:06 pm
yes! i am so stealing that. my new mailbox shall be a pelican. deposit mail in beak.
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 11:25 pm
People in Memphis have these? They are everywhere in Florida.

(The manatee mailboxes. I think there are ones with mermaids too)
Posted: Oct 24, 2006 11:49 pm
"My" manatee mailbox is in Burlingame, CA - where there are no real manatees. Makes it extra weird because you don't expect it. Seeing this in Florida wouldn't be as funny.

I should also note that the house next door to the manatee mailbox has a penguin-in-a-tuxedo mailbox, which also rules. Who are these people?!
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 12:41 am
Seeing this in Florida wouldn't be as funny.

It isn't as funny, but it is kinda funny when you are just visiting. Now a Penguin in a tux would always be funny---is he holding a tray out for the mail?
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 12:44 am
I've got a premonition this is not gonna turn into a feel good ending. Kinda like the drunk bear a few weeks ago.

What drunk bear?
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 12:58 am
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 1:12 am
What drunk bear?

Are you thinking of the allegations in the Russian media that spain's King Juan Carlos hunted a bear who had been fed vodka-spiked honey?

I'd wager this manatee has been fed at least three or four canned beers during his journey ...
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 1:39 am
Next thing you know they will revive Bud Boogie Beach: Manatee Mania!
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 1:49 am
Fuck that. Maywood is the beach within reach!
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 3:32 am
The drunk bear story was on the news about three weeks ago. Video showed a black bear stumbling around a neighborhood and so-called experts said she had eaten fermented fruit. News guys go hee-hee ha-ha -ho-ho. A week later it was quietly reported the bear wasn't drunk but terminally ill and had to be euthanised.
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 3:37 am


we cannot allow sea world corporation to steal our god-given manatee!
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:12 am
There once was a misguided manatee
Whom others all thought he'd lost sanity
To Memphis he sunk
Where he thought he'd be crunk
Local News, thy name is but vanity.
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:16 am
Name that manatee!

In honor of his new statue, I vote for Tom Lee the Manatee.
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:21 am
I think he heard that Bass Pro Shops was going to put a neon bass on top the Pyramid and he came to protest that shit.

Roll Manatee Roll!
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:24 am
he wants to save anyone who falls in the river!

Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:24 am
It's all coming together now. Thanks, fiery!
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:25 am
Tom Lee = couldn't swim
Manatee = don't wanna swim no more
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:33 am
Herrenton be wonderin how to impose a mantee tax befo' said sea cow is crime fatality #138. Bernie "Fats" Higgins will have to come on TV and state that the mantee needs to be mo' vigilant so he won't get a cap busted in his directionally challenged ass. Harold Ford Sr. says the mantee 's name is Zenobia Ford and plans to run for mayor in 2007.
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:35 am
I say we call him "Corker", 'cause he ain't doin' anything but floatin'.
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:40 am
my new mailbox shall be a pelican.

Yeah, but it should be a real pelican. Ya know, all Flintstones' style.
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 4:43 am
annex the manatee! anything to keep the sea world terrorists away!
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 5:37 pm
Now a Penguin in a tux would always be funny---is he holding a tray out for the mail?

Yeah, he holds out the actual mailbox in place of a tray. I think he has a little cast iron towel over his flipper, too. I was gonna take a pic, but they REMOVED him over the weekend! All that's left is the brick base and some rebar sticking out the top. The manatee mailbox is still hangin' tough, though.
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 8:54 pm
i had me a manatee named BOOMER he lived in orlando and used to beat the shit out of mickey and all the tourists that took a stroll by his river. disney wanted to make him a official character but he skipped town when the ceremony for his induction took place and left for memphis instead. drag em to da river boomer. xoxo
Posted: Oct 25, 2006 9:58 pm
yea cuz my BOOMER thought it was BELUGA time
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 12:29 am
I'm hungry and a manatee filet sounds kind of good. Where is this thing?
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 12:41 am
Did the Tux Penguin get stolen?!?!?!?!
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 1:11 am
See the "Yes, we are in memphis" in bold below.

A Very Lost Manatee Is Chilly in Memphis

Article Tools Sponsored By
Published: October 25, 2006

Filed at 7:48 p.m. ET

MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) -- A misdirected manatee apparently swam 700 miles up the Mississippi River to a chilly harbor near Memphis' downtown riverfront, prompting rescue plans by wildlife officials.

The docile, endangered marine mammal, about 8 feet long and 1,000 pounds, is far north of its natural range along the southeastern U.S. coast. Biologists have no idea how it got there and worry its health is failing because the species' digestive systems shut down in cooler water.

''We're working on a rescue plan and hope to have the animal rescued within the next 48 hours,'' Nicole Adiemy, a biologist with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, said Wednesday. ''Then we'll put it on a truck and haul it to Florida.''

James Jackson alerted authorities to the manatee on Monday, a day after he and another fisherman spotted it in a shallow waterway near downtown. At first the two disagreed over whether it was a baby hippo or an alligator.

Adiemy said the plan was to catch the animal in a net, perhaps on Thursday, and take it to SeaWorld Adventure Park in Orlando, Fla., with help from park specialists.

Manatees normally are moving into Florida rivers this time of year, but not the Mississippi, said Pat Rose, executive director of the Save the Manatee Club in Maitland, Fla.

The animals should be in water above 68 degrees, Rose said. Water temperature where the animal has been spotted ranged Tuesday from the low- to mid-60s.

Manatees are found mostly along the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Coast, from Alabama to South Carolina. Sometimes they stray farther north; this summer one made it as far as Manhattan.
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 4:05 am
mike matthews on the manatee, on news channel three...

"he's been here since the weekend, and he still hasn't seen graceland."

and the all time best line ever:

"this is no ordinary manatee. it's a manatee's manatee!"

also -- on hot 107.1 yesterday, DJ kojak was hollering about the "mantee lil' fishy" in the river, wondering if it was edible...
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 5:52 am
I'm hungry and a manatee filet sounds kind of good. Where is this thing?
I think what you really want is a manatee taco.
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 10:10 pm
We drove downtown this morning and saw no sight of the memphis manatee. Very dissapointed. Is it still here or did they catch and move him?
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 10:17 pm
last i heard the team that was supposed to pull him out today hadn't spotted him
Posted: Oct 26, 2006 10:18 pm
Dude on the North end of Mud Island caught it fishing......couldn't get it in his car so he built a fire and cooked it right on the bank!
Only in Memphis
Posted: Oct 27, 2006 3:16 am
My wife and I spotted the memphis manatee on shrewsbury + river road in old jefferson (nola). As we drove by he shot us the bird with his little stump.
Mamn Danatees!
Posted: Oct 27, 2006 6:15 pm
Did the Tux Penguin get stolen?!?!?!?!

It appears so - they have a standard black mailbox on a wood post out there today. Wish I'd bee the one to steal it!! It'd go great with the pink flamingos and the rusty ol' pickup truck in my front yard.

I think what you really want is a manatee taco.

Manatee tacos = delicious!!!!
Posted: Oct 27, 2006 7:04 pm
This new sea green manatee bomber I copped at JCPenny's is fuh-lyyyy.
Posted: Oct 27, 2006 7:30 pm
Did they find the wily manatee????
Posted: Oct 27, 2006 8:40 pm
They gave up! He's ours to keep.
Posted: Oct 27, 2006 9:14 pm
They better get the cute thing outta there before he freezes to death or gets caught up in all that Club Hughes mess.
Posted: Oct 31, 2006 6:38 pm
manatees look like turds. with eyes. and fins.
Posted: Oct 31, 2006 7:00 pm
I just wanna say that penguins already wear tuxes. It's the bow tie that's added on.
Posted: Oct 31, 2006 10:59 pm
I just wanna say that penguins already wear tuxes. It's the bow tie that's added on.

Yes, but the mailbox penguin had a tuxedo jacket with tails in addition to a bow-tie and top hat. he was awesome. I hope the thief who nicked him is giving him a good home.
Posted: Nov 1, 2006 6:34 pm
Any updates?
Posted: Nov 1, 2006 6:51 pm
he was spotted at the hi-tone last night
Posted: Nov 1, 2006 9:42 pm
yes! he was walking around the hi tone. he even responded to the name tom lee!
Posted: Nov 1, 2006 9:54 pm
was he sporting a TAT?
Posted: Nov 1, 2006 10:09 pm
yeah, i think it was gonerfest 3-d on his neck
Posted: Nov 1, 2006 10:45 pm
Posted: Nov 2, 2006 2:10 am | Edited by: Scott
There was a sign on his back that said, "Help me. I'm lost", or something to that effect.
Posted: Nov 2, 2006 1:29 pm
I heard Tad Doyle fell into the river while in Memphis looking for more gear to eat.
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