hey! thanks for the submissions so far- haven't really figured out illustrations, but we're well on our way. GET YOURS IN NOW!!!!

A good section, suggested by goner MAX DROPOUT- HANGOVER REMEDIES! we mighta touched on this earlier, but what the hell. it's a good topic.

mine is the usual- GOODYS POWDER + COCA COLA. Seems to work. what's yours?

For the Real Bad Ones:

3 Aspirin, A Pint of Gatorade
Then a Cheeseburger w/ Fries and a Large Fountain Coke
Then a Shower
Then TV on the couch...good as new

I'm pretty sure I stole this idea from some movie about an alcoholic, but it works great; take those aspirin you were gonna down with coke and chew up the muthas instead. The idea is to get it into your system faster, but that insanely bitter taste in your mouth gets your mind off the pounding in your brain faster than anything I know. Then eat as much crispy hash browns with ketchup and egg yolks all over as fast as you can without puking. Nap.

I don't drink Coke.

crushed up aspirins = Goody's powders.
And yeah, eggs are gross, but seem to work (scrambled with cracked black pepper)
Gatorade over Coke (though I know it works for lots of folks)
buttered toast.
Shower indeed, but don't forget to pop a top on a ice cold bottle of your preferred "lite" (actually, cans make more sense, for obvious reasons) Nothing like the combination of steamy hot shower and icy, I repeat icy, cold beer.

Masterbate in the bathroom at work.

Does that count as a recipe Eric?

if it works it does.

What about at home?

Sure S WiL.
But this is specific for work hangovers.

Weed is the best hangover remedy I've ever found...but since I don't usually have weed on hand anymore, I try to eat whatever will induce shitting the fast enough, to get all those toxins out of your head. The trick is to drink enough the night before that you emediatley take a shit the next day and the blanket of pain on your head just washes out your anus....like a warm shower. That's why if I drink beer, I can't stop at 3 or 4, you have to drink at least 8, to make sure you'll be able to shit the next day.
Bean Burritos just make your headache worst, it's got to be greasy, I used to eat chilli from this gas station.

I've done that masturbation at work thing a couple of times, which in my case, is the Library....it never helped with my hang-over...but it has helped me get threw a 6 hour shift after looking at the hun.com for the 1st three hours. Play it by ear, all hangovers are different. Find what you like and perfect it.

vanilla ice cream in seltzer water
two bong hits
and
1 and a half hours of foghorn leghorn cartoons

OK...this is PREEMPTIVE, but it works...

(1) Lots of water (upon return home)--no eating to "cut the alcohol intake", regardless of what you think.
(2)Slam a few tabs of Vitamin B-12 (learned this from the great novel "Hunting in Harlem"...works!)
(3)Take two-three tabs of Ibupfrofen (you can just do this step if you don't have any B-12)
(4) Go to bed (NO EATING).
(5) Wake up and eat a really good breakfast/ lunch with fats and proteins (eggs or hamburgers).

This has worked for me...I may feel the slime of alcohol on me in the morning, but the mind is pretty sharp.

I DO need to eat before I got to be drunk. That way I don't wake up hungry the next morning. I can't go shopping for food with a hangover and an empty stomach!
Try drinking a liter of water before you go to bed. I say TRY... Forget about it. You've been drinking all night and you wanna drink water when you get home? I never manage.
PUKE before you go to sleep. It's great. get's rid of all the crap. (Even better, puke before you leave the bar. Saves you a mess at home.)
Then the next morning I eat a roastbeef sandwich with plenty of mayonaise and mustard (and salt and peper of course) and drink a big bottle of Orangina. When in Germany drink the bubbly ACE mix fruits variety... Just enough sugar and some gas, perfect.
Then go to the neighbours and tell them to shut up.
Or eat fries with shitloads of mayonaise.
Some people here swear haring is THE cure... But that's sick...

Two, Two and Two:
Two glasses of water (or powerade),
two advil,
and two more hours of sleep.
Repeat if necessary.
Junk food upon awakening is also a good idea. I like cheeseburgers and coca-cola. I had CKs today (steak and eggs, Jr.-piled the meat, eggs and hashbrowns up on the toast and ate the fucker like a sandwich), and I feel like a million bucks.

After you get home and if your not realy drunk to begin with...do a bunch of shit to to prevent the hang over you wouldn't be having in the first place.

The reason you get a hangover is because your body gets dehydrated which causes you to not be able to shit and your body can't get rid of the toxins or replenish itself...it doesn't help to drink water the day after because it just makes you more hange over because your body can't digest it properly...It's good to drink Gatorade because that shit is loaded with salt, and it's like drinking the hair of the dog.....the best thing you can do to prevent a seriously bad hangover is just drink whiskey water..but if your not drinking untill you pass out...shit...shit.

Aspirin helps...Ibuprofrin helps...I sometimes take Exedrin, just because I prefer the coated tablets...I don't know I just like that shit better.....I don't know if they make generic exedrin, I hardley ever take medicine....I used to be hung over all the time...just learned to tough it out.

Also one other thing I might recomend, is if you got the money, drink Kettle 1 or Lukuskowa vodka...made with no potato grain...Lukusowa's motto is "No Grain, No Pain" and it's true...I usually drank Kettle 1 which costs like 18 bucks a bottle usually, or 4 bucks a drink at a Kentucky bar...7 bucks everywhere else....

I'd drink that shit and smoke Nat Sherman mints when I was feeling rich...but if your that worried about having a hang over....you gotta drink the pure shit.

Hangover- A dish of bitters in soda water

Foood- If yr still accepting recipes...

"The Paul Ruben" Turkey, swiss, coleslaw, on toasted marble rye. mmmmmmmm!

Hangover- A dish of bitters in soda water

Foood- If yr still accepting recipes...

"The Paul Ruben" Turkey, swiss, coleslaw, on toasted marble rye. mmmmmmmm!

what is all this crap!? it's called hair of the dog, baby!!! fuck the dumb shit. more booze always makes it better. always.

but if you hafta be sober for some reason, here's the trick: first drink a few glasses of water and maybe take a couple ibuprofen if you're achey, then just fucking sweat that shit out of you. hit a punching bag, do pull ups, have wild sex, jerk off five times, swim laps, whatever. then eat some fresh fruit and take a cold shower.

I never understood the greasy food cure. I think it only works because the pleasure you derive from eating some greasy ass food takes the edge off the hangover, but in the end it just makes you feel shittier.

Are you trying to make a dogs hangover worst!?...haha...good one Martel.

All that shit you suggested gives me a worst hangover just thinking about it....

It makes me feel like next time I drink I'm going to be sure to have a dimebag handy...that's the only sure fire remedy....replace the sharp pain with numb fuzziness.

Late with my homework (I was hungover?) but still want to contribute - Eric, what kind of stuff have you got too much or not enough of? How's it looking so far? (I don't think I'd want the editing gig on this project)

Leave the editing to the cigar smoking monkeys. -Orson Wells

"eat some fresh fruit" !????

Leave the editing to the pot smoking monkeys -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

dumbass.

I'm hungover at work right now...I realize there's been a lot of talk about Coca Cola, from me included...but, I gotta say, The Dr. has saved my ass today...can't beat the Pepper. Also, Paddy, your remedy sounds like a winner...vanilla ice cream in seltzer water...That sounds good.

32 oz of FOUNTAIN COKE!!!!

and by the way, why does masturbation work exactly?

I've never really thought about that as being a "cure", but it works. The times I do it when I'm hungover have helped me but when I have, I haven't consciously said to myself "this is going to cure my hangover." And because I've felt better, I never attributed it to that. But it is known to be a remedy? huh.

Maybe it works for people who usually deprive themselfes of it...anyone who's truely hung over doesn't have the balance to do it, even lying in bed.

Have you ever woken up on the toilet, and when you tried to get up you banged your head on the bathtub because your legs were asleep?

hangover prevention: eat speghetti and red sauce before you go to bed, don't add salt. This got me to work the next day on uncountable occaisions when I lived in New Orleans.

You know, instead of jerking off you could just get laid. ...I mean, if you CAN get laid. I know my husband is usually ready to knock one out the day after some hard drinkin.
...but never foreplay. Makin out requires adequate hydration.

I'm thinking that was a TMI (too much information) moment.

Talbot- that's co-cola,baby.

CM- I agree with the wild sex, but usually that just makes me want more and drive crooked. I suggest- wild sex 2 or 3 times, then mexican and more beer. then more sex? hell. then you should be good to go.

Masturbation or wild sex (or any sex...) is not a cure for a hangover it's a side effect of a hangover...

I'm horny.

Try a meat shake...
[url}www.meatshake.com[/url]

Damn hangover...
www.meatshake.com

Yeah no doubt! and any wife who says that there husbands fuck them sober is a liar......hungover, you mean still drunk!

vodka & tomato juice.

beer & beer.

cold gin.

the old peurto rican dudes in the LES in NY have a some sort of really potent garlic soup.

oh man, garlic soup - yeah, that would work.
Campbells used to make a roasted garlic and potato soup that I'd spike with more garlic and fresh rosemary and pretty much lived on while I was recovering from a serious concussion. Around the time I could drink again - they DISCONTINUED it. So, never got to road test it's hangover friend or foe quality, but it always seemed obvious. Any recipes out there? (gotta be simple, we are talking severe hangovers here)

i've learned from my nurse friend holly that taking aspirin while you are drinking is extremely bad for yr liver & can lead to liver failure. she even suggests not taking aspirin the morning after but i say fuck that, if you can't take aspirin when you have a hangover, what's it for?

good bloody recipe:
absolute pepper vodka
tomato juice (the plain kind)
horseradish
tabasco
worcester
lots of pepper
as many veggies (preferably pickled) as you can stuff in there. garlic
pickles are great. pickled brussel sprouts are better. string beans are
good.

serve in a pint glass with ice & a back of ice cold beer (no bud products)
in a shorty glass. your head should sweat while you drink it.

drink 2 & your hangover is gone.

go back to bed.

-apparently vinegar helps to resolve alcohol so it works good in hangover soup
-garlic is key
-hot sauce and/or horseradish is important

In medieval times, the Medical School of Salerno was already recommending the hair of the dog:
Si nocturna tibi noceat potatio vini
Hoc tu mane bibas iterum, et fuerit medicina
or
If an evening of wine does you in,
More the next morning will be medicine.

another hangover soup:
1/3 cup parsley leaves
3 garlic cloves
1 onion, quartered
2 large tomatoes, peeled, seeded, and quartered
1 46-ounce can of tomato juice
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 and 1/2 teaspoons worcestershire sauce
pinch of cayenne pepper
salt and pepper
1 cup vodka
Garnish: 1 green pepper and 1 cucumber, both peeled, seeded, and chopped fine.
In a blender or food processor, chop the parsley, then drop in the garlic and onion. Add tomatoes, 1/2 cup of tomato juice, and the coriander. Stir into the rest of the tomato juice, with the worcestershire sauce, cayenne, salt and pepper. Cover and refrigerate several hours or overnight. When ready to serve, stir in vodka, ladle into bowls, and garnish with green pepper and cucumber. Serve with a side dish of ice packs.

The whole reason for the sex/masturbation hangover relief is it gets all that fucking blood out'a yer brain, where it's pressed against all those constricted arterys and such, and down into yer pecker. Thus relieving the pressure on yer brain. Real leftover drunkin doin' it is far better cause ya sweat alot isultin' in, I mean resultin', gettin' more impurities out. Thank you for your time.

DR. Bongo Bongo

by the way, too many headache pills of several kinds( aspirin, tylanol,etc.) lead to organ shut down when mixed with drinkin. an ol' friend died over the summer from it at 27. So tuff it out and have sex, or relations with yerself.

garlic lubed sex. the best hangover cure available.

The sex remedy sounds good, unless you're so hungover, you can't move without throwing up and/or excruciating aches and pains. But, I've only had a hangover like that once. I guess there's a difference between your garden variety hangover and straight alcohol poisoning.

If I worked up a sweat jacking off I'd never do it...I mean shit, I'm not going to get tired just to fuck my hand, exept unless it's a rented porno or something.

Also if you're going to pop pills the day after you drink, you should know that alcohol stays in your system for like 20 hours or something...and all that shit says no alcohol.....I take a mild anti-depressent, plus now a days I only realy drink heavily when I have some vicoden or xanex...so I don't much worry about it, but your not supposed to take like aspirin when your hungover.

I had a friend with diabetes who used to get fucked up all the time....like snorting pills and coke and everything else, and would get fucked up on that Wild Turkey at least twice a week....they say alcohols like 85% worst for diabetics.

A person I work with told me that the best cure for a hangover was to not drink. Jeez, some people.

the best cure for a hangover is love.

and by love I mean "booze."

1 shot of sauza tequila (2 if you are really hung over)

Kessler Whisky and Diet Dr. Pepper, 2 frozen sausage patties (Jimmy Dean is good), and fistful of adderol, yohimbe, and hydrocodone, and a bavarian cream donut. Spend rest of day washing it down with black coffee, punctuated with Viceroy full flavor cigarettes.

I forgot to mention to cook the sausage, drench them in Scorned Woman brand hotsauce, and chew slowly.

ye ol' vanwinkle hangover cure-
1 glass
sleeve of saltines
whole milk
crunch crackers into glass
pour milk over
eat with big spoon
repeat if necessary...
add double side of good lovin'...

HAHA! Krusty The Clown, I just got that.

I'd have to agree with the Adderall/Kessler one-two combo for hangover alleviation. It can turn into a vicious cycle but, hopefully, your self-preservation instinct will kick in before your pancreas shuts down.