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Goner Message Board / ???? / Shittiest liquors of all time!
Author Message
dutch hercules
Member
Posted: Feb 20, 2014 5:39 pm    
Kesslers!
finnark
Member
Posted: Feb 20, 2014 6:23 pm    
Ten High!
Mark Beef
Member
Posted: Feb 20, 2014 6:23 pm    
campari
chartreuse
fox deluxe beer
joseph t
Member
Posted: Feb 20, 2014 6:57 pm    
Skol
Sal
Member
Posted: Feb 20, 2014 8:14 pm    
Old Smuggler scotch
When I first started drinking, I went for this because a. my pops used to drink it; b. scotch is classy, right?
Not good, worse than Thunderbird...
Sloane Wendell
Member
Posted: Feb 20, 2014 10:18 pm    
Sloe Gin
Stroh's Beer
bababbqgoat
Member
Posted: Feb 20, 2014 10:42 pm    
dark eyes vodka
hood river dist. brandy
everclear
ritchie g
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 9:34 am    
Peckham Poison. ie: Thunderbird and Lager mixed
Wire
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 10:37 am    
Pepe Lopez
Montezuma Gold
eric o
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 1:30 pm    
Peppermint Schnapps.
Adam K
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 2:37 pm    
Old Thompson...I'll puke if I even smell it. I was told it has the highest vodka content of any blended whiskey.
Dammit Dave
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 4:56 pm    
I've heard my Chicago pals tell horror stories about Malort (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeppson%27s_Mal%C3%B6rt). The taste has been compared to what a wet dog smells like.

I call bullshit on the Stroh's being shit, especially if you like PBR, High Life, etc. If you don't believe me, argue with Radio Birdman (I94):

I gave you a six pack of Stroh's
You never drank 'em down
You keep drinking Rolling Rock
You know I can't hang round
dutch hercules
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 7:52 pm    
when my old band went on tour back in 07 our guitar player bought some corn whiskey..... haaaaaarrrrsh!! then he asked random strangers in memphis to take a chug!!
joseph t
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 8:12 pm    
I love corn whiskey! Super harsh
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 8:59 pm    
Eight Star. Worse than Ten High.

Early Times. First drunk at age 13. If I smell it today I heave.
nickg
Member
Posted: Feb 21, 2014 10:45 pm    
Old Thompson...I'll puke if I even smell it. I was told it has the highest vodka content of any blended whiskey.


beat me to it. when i think of how much of that crap everyone used to drink i begin gagging. then i cry. the sheer VOLUME!
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 22, 2014 8:34 am    
I was told it has the highest vodka content of any blended whiskey.'

Vodka is used in blended whiskey? Like Canadian blends?

You really can learn shit on this board.
joseph t
Member
Posted: Feb 22, 2014 10:02 am    
Not vodka. "Neutral spirits" are what they call it
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 22, 2014 4:16 pm    
Used to drink this stuff:
http://www.bevmo.com/Shop/ProductDetail.aspx/Spirits/Other-Whiskeys/Ge orgia-Moon/Georgia-Moon-Corn-Whiskey/728

Can't remember if it was shitty or not. We had fun together!
dutch hercules
Member
Posted: Feb 23, 2014 10:13 pm    
does anyone know if they still make Cisco er Sisco...?
tigerblinds
Member
Posted: Feb 24, 2014 2:00 pm    
Smirnoff Vodka
tigerblinds
Member
Posted: Feb 24, 2014 2:03 pm | Edited by: tigerblinds    
Pretty sure Cisco is long gone...as is Nighttrain and St. Ides Special Brew. I stopped drinking all that shit the day I got a real job.
Womb Raider
Member
Posted: Feb 24, 2014 3:46 pm    
That Georgia Moon looks like some downright fancy city slicker bullshit. Y'all need to try some Mellow Corn.

any of the aformentioned swill is 50 times better than all of the sweetened, flavored "whiskeys" and vodkas that have cropped up in the last 5 years. Fuck all of that cherry, honey, maple, jelly donut flavored garbage. And shame on the once respectable liquor brands who have tainted their good names by luring underage kids into drinking that filth.
nickg
Member
Posted: Feb 24, 2014 7:51 pm    
any of the aformentioned swill is 50 times better than all of the sweetened, flavored "whiskeys" and vodkas that have cropped up in the last 5 years. Fuck all of that cherry, honey, maple, jelly donut flavored garbage. And shame on the once respectable liquor brands who have tainted their good names by luring underage kids into drinking that filth.


word to that, and ya'mother.
action fan
Member
Posted: Feb 24, 2014 8:01 pm    
Jacquin's Nirvana Banana:
http://liquorlunch.com/?p=422
eric o
Member
Posted: Feb 25, 2014 9:35 am    
I had that Georgia Moon. Indeed, some Billy Crystalized fauxhawk corn likker. Still, not good.

Sisco. Goddamn. And all those malt liquor energy drinks - 4 Loko, Sparks, Monster, Rockstar- taste like battery acid.
tigerblinds
Member
Posted: Feb 25, 2014 10:34 am    
The Makers Mark Mint Julep flavor is awesome if you ever get a chance to try it...it's seasonal and makes your breath smell good...goes down so smooth. At 50 dollars a bottle I may never have it again, but it's good.
Joe Buddha
Member
Posted: Feb 25, 2014 11:26 am    
Got kneewalkin drunk with my dad on old smuggler at my cousin's wedding about 20 years ago. I can't even bring myself to be around it again. SO sick.
Goldschlager is devil piss.
TW Samuels always led to bad decisions and rough mornings.
There is this shit called Pelinkovac that this guy would always bring to the deli on Sundays. It was horrific. It's like jager and ouzo had a baby.
eric o
Member
Posted: Feb 25, 2014 12:44 pm    
Not horrible tasting but horrible nevertheless: FIREBALL.
joseph t
Member
Posted: Feb 25, 2014 1:58 pm    
I miss Sparks
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 25, 2014 2:30 pm    
The Makers Mark Mint Julep flavor is awesome if you ever get a chance to try it...it's seasonal and makes your breath smell good...goes down so smooth. At 50 dollars a bottle I may never have it again, but it's good.

Thanks for the head's up. Never heard of that. Maker's is too good to ever qualify as shitty.

Now THIS is shitty:
http://www.40ozmaltliquor.com/archive/coolcolt.html

How ghetto is menthol malt liquor?

Let's add Midnight Dragon to the list, as well as Big Bear.

All fortified wines. You know the names.
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 25, 2014 2:41 pm    
Disregard my last comment if we're sticking to hard liquor on this thread.
finnark
Member
Posted: Feb 25, 2014 5:33 pm    
I'm gonna have to try that Jeppson's Malort stuff next time I'm in Chicago. I might be one of the 50.
tigerblinds
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 10:02 am    
Sunnyside, look for it now since "Derby Season" is about to start.

https://www.thepartysource.com/express/item.php?id=2127
dutch hercules
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 10:31 am    
kiwi mad dog 20/20.. probly theeeee worst hangover ever.. stayed passed out around 4am woke up with the snorks on tv then had to vom.. hard!
Jesse Garon
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 11:26 am    
stayed passed out around 4am woke up with the snorks on tv then had to vom.. hard!

Party!
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 11:35 am    
stayed passed out around 4am woke up with the snorks on tv then had to vom.. hard!


Careful. You have to be wide awake when puking.
You'll thank me when you live.

Much as I loved Mickey's, they gave me the worst hangovers. Stinger, indeed.

That maltliquor website I posted earlier is pretty impressive...
eric o
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 12:44 pm    
COOL COLT! I have recounted this story on this board I'm sure, but once this brilliant flavor/marketing magic failed miserably, they were selling quarts in town for a quarter. Now that's an attractive price! After seeing Ross Johnson down pretty much a whole quart onstage with Jeff Evans at Barristers, I had some notion that it was potable. Bought a case of 'em (six? $1.50) for next Oblivians practice. Ooh boy, that was one wrong wrong wrong move. Lesson learned, one of the few.
I am the Arm
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 1:46 pm    
midori is gay
ida slapter
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 2:21 pm    
I had to look that up -- Colt 45 makers experimented briefly with a mint-flavored derivative, marketed under the name Cool Colt, in the early 1990s. Available in limited quantities, it was largely met with puzzlement from loyal customers. While it was in production, the slogan for Cool Colt was "Taste the Cool."
eric o
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 3:30 pm    
I am guessing they tested it in market where Menthol cigarettes were popular?
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 4:19 pm    
I am guessing they tested it in market where Menthol cigarettes were popular?


Yes. The "urban" demographic.

There's a franchise called 500 Liquor Stores that were all over the Indianapolis 'hoods. They sold 40s and fortified wines from behind the plexiglass. That's where I discovered it.

midori is gay

How about Kiwi lime MD 20/20?

http://www.ghettowine.com/maddog/current/keylimepie.html
ida slapter
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 4:39 pm    
I have only know MD as Mad Dog and I drank *plenty* of that crap in high school driving 20 minutes into the next state when the legal age was 18 and it was easier to fake an ID / and look the right age.
Thunderbird. Jesus that was horrible stuff.
ida slapter
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 4:41 pm    
Zima -- the date rape beverage of the '90s. I don't think I drank a whole one, but that shit was rank.
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 6:03 pm    
Until recently, I had no idea that the MD for Mad Dog really stood for Morgan Davis.
The orange stuff made me puke in high school.

Anyone else remember Purple Passion?
To be a teenage drunk in the 80s meant you knew its subtle charms.

Horrific shit.

And wine coolers.
Mark Beef
Member
Posted: Feb 26, 2014 11:40 pm | Edited by: Mark Beef    
Cool Colt wasnt that bad, at least it was real malt liquor and not that 311/HG shit.

anybody remember that shit that came in a mini black oil drum? Im trying real hard to remember its thing that should not beness.

oh and Tucson was covered in Cool Colt, not exactly New Jack City
ida slapter
Member
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 8:30 am    
I am remembering that I hung with these 2 bad girls and even if we had some cash and fake ID's would would steal shitty booze. I mean if you are going to shoplift why wouldn't you pick something better than Mad Dog? You really realize you are stupid in high school.
Amazed no one has mentioned Boone's Farm strawberry hill
tigerblinds
Member
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 9:15 am | Edited by: tigerblinds    
Ha I was just about too mention Boones Farm. A few years ago my Grandmother who is like 82 or something, was telling me about the first time she ever got drunk. She said a friend of hers dad owned a grocery store, so her and her friends were able to steal a crate of the shit and they took it to the park and got drunk. This is back in the 30s or 40s. I patted her on the back and said, "Granny it's good to know some things never change." Now her drink of choice is either Coors tallboys or Jager on special occasions.
whadatsay
Member
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 10:05 am    
COOL COLT! I have recounted this story on this board I'm sure, but once this brilliant flavor/marketing magic failed miserably, they were selling quarts in town for a quarter. Now that's an attractive price! After seeing Ross Johnson down pretty much a whole quart onstage with Jeff Evans at Barristers, I had some notion that it was potable. Bought a case of 'em (six? $1.50) for next Oblivians practice. Ooh boy, that was one wrong wrong wrong move. Lesson learned, one of the few.

This is the first time I've heard the story from you eric, but I've heard it a few times from other Memphis 90's people. Oh to be young and responsible in Memphis with a case of Cool Colt.
Dammit Dave
Member
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 12:42 pm    
Zima...I used it as a mixer with either Gilby's or Gordon's gin.

Mad Dog - Worst hangover ever was from a pint of grapefruit flavor... after a half pint of the grape flavor (I liked the grape because it tasted like Dimetap). God put all the needles in the red the next morning. Complete Nutty Professor (best hangover scene in a movie that I know of).
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 1:14 pm    
I am remembering that I hung with these 2 bad girls and even if we had some cash and fake ID's would would steal shitty booze.

Sorry, but I'm a romantic. Be still my foolish heart.

Zima...I used it as a mixer with either Gilby's or Gordon's gin.

That would require an ambulance. Eeeeesh!!!!
dutch hercules
Member
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 3:37 pm    
was it the rockening of 05' where everyone was drinking sparks?? turns yer mouth orange and burned a hole in my rat traps tshirt..good times!
nickg
Member
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 6:22 pm | Edited by: nickg    
i think the worst i've had in the past 5 years or so would be 4 Loko and Joose. both are malt liquor energy drinks. i was in san diego waiting for a show to start or some such thing and cracked a 4 loko in the car, parked on the street. driver didnt like that so much so i figured i'd make short work of it and get back in the club. so for some grasp of this, a can of 4 loko is 24 ounces and 12% alcohol (might've been 14%? not sure, i just remember it being the same as a lot of wine). plus the "energy" component. anyway, it was a cherry flavored 4 loko and i put it away in about 20 minutes. this was no small feat as this shit is absolutely vile. kind of like if you mixed sparks, cooking wine, redbull, and cough syrup. anyway, i could feel my face turning red as it was happening. ears burning. it should be mentioned i am sensitive to alcohol anyway, in that my liver apparently metabolises it very quickly, but incorrectly, and delivers some sort of poison throughout my body. some people call it Asian Flush because a lot of asian people suffer the affliction. i've been told i am 8 to 10 times more likely to develop esophageal cancer than the average person, but really, how likely is it to happen to the average person? if it's 8 x pretty slim chance, then whatever, i guess. anyway, my face reddened immediately, as did my ears, and i got a little bit puffy. the "energry" component actually worked, not like a red bull or some such shit, and i couldnt sit fucking still for about 2 hours. like, i didnt feel energetic. i felt fuckin wired and shitty, like i'd taken 4 ritalin or something. my buddy even told me i looked "fuckin sketchy, dude." anyway, 4 loko is something to be avoided.

then a week later i picked up a lemonade flavored Joose, a similar product to 4 Loko (what the hell is my problem?). for some reason i came to believe the lemonade flavor would save the drink, and hey, it couldnt possibly be worse than 4 Loko. i was wrong. it was. cant comment on the effects, however. after 3 or 4 tentative sips i took a big slug, gagged in the alley for a bit, and tossed that thing the fuck out.
nickg
Member
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 11:49 pm    
i just found out from another message board that 4 Loko is actually, uh...um...hip? cool? with thee uh...hip young cool people. i think. i'm not quite sure how to put it. anyway, its popular. makes sense. people are idiots.
KosherPickleHarry
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 1:05 am    
They took the caff out of 4LOKO ((and SPARX and ...(at least here in OR) so now it is fucking worthless.

FIREBALL (and clones). That shit is gross.
Mark Beef
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 1:35 am | Edited by: Mark Beef    
anybody else have bars in their town offering pickel backs(pickel juice) for shots of whiskey
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 9:00 am    
[url=http://embracedisruption.com/2013/07/09/big-brand-boo-boos-5-cons umer-products-that-never-took-off/][/url]

If you used it as a mixer, all the balls would sink to the bottom.
tigerblinds
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 9:10 am    
Yeah, we got places offering pickle juice around here. Last time I remember drinking pickle juice was at Bim's house for my hangover, but I think it just made me puke more.

4Loco is trendy with the dumbass wannabee crowd...Nick G you gotta get on Facebook.
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 9:34 am    
Orbitz Soda. Meant to include an image.
Mark Beef
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 11:14 am    
Orbitz soda? ORBITZ SODA?!?!?! Since when did that shit have alcohol in it?
Wire
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 11:41 am    
nickg - niacin flush. common reaction.
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 1:08 pm    
Orbitz soda? ORBITZ SODA?!?!?! Since when did that shit have alcohol in it?

Never!

But it made an interesting science project using it as a mixer. All the "planets" would DIE and sink to the bottom. I posted something to that effect.
eric o
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 4:30 pm    
Kinda into the Orbitz idea now. Chewy drinks!

Take some niacin pills- whoo. Now that's a rush. Err flush. Err... burn.
Sunnyside Turner
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 5:00 pm    
Kinda into the Orbitz idea now. Chewy drinks!


If you can find the stuff. Godspeed!
nickg
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 5:51 pm | Edited by: nickg    
nickg - niacin flush. common reaction


are you telling me my body is flooding with niacin, causing the flush? or are you telling me to flush my system with niacin pills?

i know it's pretty common, and genetic. lots of guys in my family get it, including my brother and father. it gets worse (for me) as time goes on, and i now start getting rosy after a few beers. it used to mainly happen when i drank brandy or wine or gin, or a shitload of whatever else. kinda bothersome that it is getting worse. the other day i was thinking about it and remembered that when i turned 27 or 28 i said i would quit drinking when i was 32. i am halfway through 32...
nickg
Member
Posted: Feb 28, 2014 5:53 pm    
and why do i need to get on facebook?
dutch hercules
Member
Posted: Mar 2, 2014 1:10 pm    
any beer in a plastic bottle!
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